


Haunted

by CharmedLuna



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anime, Eventual Smut, F/M, Haikyuu - Freeform, I'm not an expert in Japanese formalities, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Romance, Slight Cursing, Smut, Volleyball, it is what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:00:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23916424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmedLuna/pseuds/CharmedLuna
Summary: Riko Hinata is Karasuno's middle blocker older sister. Her secret? She was dating the captain of her school's volleyball team of Shiratorizawa. A misunderstanding broke them up but now that Wakatoshi knows the truth, how will he get Riko back?
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Original Female Character(s), Ushijima Wakatoshi/Original Female Character(s), Ushijima wakatoshi - Relationship, sawamura daichi - Relationship
Comments: 18
Kudos: 123





	1. breathe no more

**Author's Note:**

> Title Credit: Haunted by Evanescence

“Finals, huh?”

Shoyo grinned and nodded at his older sister. “We’re playing against your school too.”

Their mom had made a big meal to celebrate Shoyo’s big upcoming game.

Riko did remember hearing a school announcement about it. “Ah. That means you’ll be going against Ushijima.”

“You know him?!” Shoyo shouted from across from her. “He’s a real jerk! Told me my school came from concrete.”

She rolled her eyes. “He’s a school celebrity. Girls fawn over him. Some guys too,” she giggled. “And we’re in the same class. We’ve worked on some projects, but I wouldn’t say I know him.”

“Are you going to the game tomorrow then?” he asked.

“I wasn’t going to go, but now that I know it’s against you. I’ll go cheer you on,” she grinned at her younger brother.

“Can I go too?” Natsu asked next to Riko.

“You have a playdate,” Their mom chimed in.

“Sorry,” Riko ruffled her sister’s hair, “next time.”

“If you want, my teammates’ sister can drive you,” Shoyo’s eyes sparkled. Finally, someone to cheer him on. “Although I do have to warn you, she’s a crazy driver.”

“I’m okay with that. Sounds good.”

Shoyo said he would let her know once he got the okay from his teammate’s sister.

After dinner, Riko went to brush her teeth. She didn’t like that she lied to her brother, but she didn’t want him to freak out. She did know Ushijima. Those projects they worked together on brought them a lot closer than she had intended. Her first kiss.

But that was over with. He returned to his standoffish self; he avoided her at all cost. She would text him to see if he wanted to spend time together. He made some excuses that he had to study or to practice. She offered to study with him, but he blew her off. She got the message. Loud and clear.

Riko did some homework but could hardly concentrate. She took out her phone and scrolled to Wakatoshi’s. 

It had been a few months since things fizzled out. She got a good month with him though. Where things seemed perfect. She figured he was embarrassed to be seen with the scholarship girl. Riko worked her way into the best academy around. She had several scholarships to get her in. She was offered to stay in the dorms, but her mother couldn’t afford that, and the scholarships wouldn’t cover it. So Riko got up early every day to take two buses to get to school.

At school, she was known as the poor student. She didn’t have the money. But she was great academically. The top of her class. The girls in her school were vicious. Always judged her much older uniform. The same one she had since the first year. The same shoes.

Riko never cared about what they thought. She was there for education. Wakatoshi seemed not to care because he spoke to her like a regular person. He didn’t look down at her.

But he lived in a different world. His father was rich and worked overseas. He told her that. He had confided in her. He didn’t seem to care about her financial status, but why did he blow her off? He seemed to change overnight.

It didn’t matter.

Her brother was in the finals. She knew very well that was a big deal. Their mom wouldn’t be able to miss work to see him and since she had not gone to any of his games, she needed to be there for him. It was her last year at her school, so she didn’t care what others would think.

She didn’t have friends. It made things easier.

There were soft knocks on her door. Shoyo opened her door.

“Tanaka’s sister said she’d be delighted to pick you up. She said to be ready at 10.”

“Thanks, Sho,” she grinned. “I can’t wait to see you play. It’s been a while since we used to practice in the backyard.”

Shoyo’s eyes were filled with fireworks. “I can’t wait for you to see how much I’ve grown! Our special attack!” He jumped high, so high he hit the ceiling. He groaned in pain when he landed back on his feet and rubbed his head.

“Hey, cool it,” she laughed. “I’ll be sure to have a good seat! Do your best!”

Shoyo started to cry and then hugged his sister. “Thank you, big sister!”

She laughed and hugged him back.

**

Saeko Tanaka was indeed a crazy driver.

“Th-thank you for the lift,” Riko stuttered as they sped down the highway.

“It’s good to meet Shoyo’s family! He doesn’t really talk about his personal life.”

“Uh-uh…yeah…it’s complicated,” Riko blushed.

“And it’s your first volleyball game?” she asked.

Riko nodded her head. “I mean an official game. I used to watch games on TV with Shoyo.”

“What school do you go to? I work in the Karasuno kitchen and haven’t seen you around.”

“I go to Shiratorizawa Academy,” Riko replied.

“Wait! You go there?! Wow! Shoyo never mentioned that!”

“I think he’s been so caught up, he forgot,” Riko joked. “But I’m going to cheer for my brother. I really couldn’t care less about Shiratorizawa.”

“Ah, bad blood?”

“You can say that,” Riko muttered thinking about Wakatoshi. His olive eyes. His surprisingly soft lips. How his embrace made her feel like the world stopped during the duration of it and everything was all right.

“OOOHHH, what’s his name?” Saeko giggled. “I see that blush.”

Riko didn’t have a lot of girl friends, so she wasn’t used to this kind of talk. She had a sister, but obviously it wasn’t something to talk about to an eight year old. But something told Riko that Saeko would be a good listener.

“Uh…the captain of the volleyball team of Shiratorizawa,” she confessed.

“WHAT?!” Saeko screamed in shock. “Does Shoyo know?”

“Of course not. Plus, it’s not like it was a big deal. We kissed here and there,” Riko shrugged. “He and I don’t even talk anymore.”

“Anymore, so you guys were close. I mean you did kiss.”

Riko sighed. “I thought it was going somewhere. We did spend some time together after his practice. I would watch him practice and... he stopped talking to me.”

“Ah, young love,” the blonde laughed, but then turned serious. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

She shook her head. “He had his reasons. What they are, I don’t know, but today all that matters is that I get to see my little brother play. He’s worked really hard for so long. I know that. He’s been coming home late a lot. I can’t wait to see his hard work pay off.”

“That’s right!” the older one shouted. “Who cares about men!”

Riko laughed and was happy she was able to talk about it to someone. She’s kept it inside of herself for weeks and it was nice to have some support.

They arrived at the center in one piece. They went to the ticket booth. Riko took out her school ID and was given a free ticket.

“You get it in for free?” Saeko asked.

“Shiratorizawa pays for them. Might as well save some money,” Riko laughed. She had also shared how snob the girls were at Shiratorizawa because she didn’t have a lot of money and she was on a scholarship.

“I like you; may I call you Riko?” Saeko asked.

“I’d love that if I can call you Saeko,” she told her.

“Yes, of course!” Saeko clapped her hands. “Have you met the team?” They walked inside the building and Riko grew nervous.

“No,” she told her. “Are they here?”

She was nervous of running into Wakatoshi, but she doubted he would care. She wasn’t in the school uniform so it would be weird for her to be there and not cheer her school.

Saeko pointed to the group of boys wearing black jackets. Riko recognized her younger brother. He had the same hair as their mother. Riko got her dark hair from her father. It was why everyone was surprised to know she and Shoyo were related all of the time.

“Shoyo!”

Her redheaded brother turned to her and grinned.

“BIG SIS!” he waved at her. The others with the jacket all had shocked faces.

She and Saeko reached them. She hugged her younger brother tightly and then released him.

“BIG SIS?” some questioned behind Shoyo.

He turned to his teammates and pointed to her. “This is my older sister Hinata, Riko. She’s a third year at… Shiratorizawa.”

They were several gasps.

“I’m here to support my brother,” Riko clarified at once. “I’ve never been to any of his games.” She gestured to Shoyo.

“Won’t your friends at school be mad at you?” one of the older ones asked. He had silver hair.

She shrugged. “Don’t have friends there, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh! I’m Koshi Sugawara,” the silver haired one held out his hand. Then she met the others. Ryu, as he insisted to be called, definitely looked like his sister. Asahi was a cute one with his hair back. Daichi was the captain and Riko could tell. There was an aura around him that reminded her of Wakatoshi. Leadership. Daichi had really kind eyes.

“You must be Tobio Kageyama,” she pointed to the dark-haired boy with blue eyes. He seemed shocked. “Shoyo talks a lot about you.”

“I do not!” Shoyo defended himself.

Riko and the others laughed. The rest of the team introduced themselves. She recognized some of the names. Shoyo tended to talk a lot during dinner and she might have been paying attention.

Riko even met the coaches and the managers. They were all kind.

“Just can’t believe Shoyo has been holding out on us!” Nishinoya slapped Shoyo’s back. “You have a cute sister and didn’t tell us.”

“Because it’s none of your business,” Shoyo muttered.

“Well, everyone, do your best,” Riko encouraged. She knew Shiratorizawa’s team was powerful. She never saw them play officially but just watching them practice was enough to know they were good. But she had faith Karasuno was good as well. Being in their presence told her that they were hungry for victory.

“Thank you,” they all said back. They all walked away and Riko groaned and doubled over.

“I have to use to the restroom,” she told Saeko. The blond told her where she would be waiting. Riko found the women’s restroom and there was a line to use it. She waited patiently and then after she was done, she exited.

She turned right and froze in place when she saw Wakatoshi at the end. The way she was supposed to go. His eyes already fixed on her. Like an eagle who found its prey.

“I thought you didn’t come to games,” his even tone said he was actually curious. “You’re not in uniform.”

“Actually, the school you’re playing against? My brother is the middle blocker,” she told him. They were still a few feet apart, but he took a step towards her and she remembered just how short she was compared to him. It took him two or three steps to reach her.

“You came to cheer him then.” He concluded and could she hear a hint of disappointment. Then his eyes narrowed. “So…were you a spy all this time.”

Did she lose her hearing? Did she imagine that? Riko blinked at the accusation. Then being the smart person that she was, she connected it all. It all made sense and it made her furious.

“Wait, did you know I was related to someone from the Karasuno? And did you think I got close to you to get dirt or something?” she clenched her hands at the outright audacity of him.

His face softened. Just a little. She had learned it well enough to know when he was caught off guard.

“Is that why you stopped talking to me? Why you shut me out?” she shook her head in anger. “You clearly don’t know everything Ushijima because you’re a complete idiot.” She turned to walk away from him, but he grabbed her hand. Not tightly, but enough for her to stop.

“I met your brother in the street. Remember when I got in trouble for bringing outsiders? It was him and another player. When he said his name…I thought it was just a coincidence because you didn’t look related. Then…when I went to your home, I saw the picture of your family. I went to the conclusion you were just using me to help your brother.”

“Why didn’t you just ask me?” she pulled her hand back. “I’ve always been honest with you.”

“I was afraid. For once in my life…I was afraid of hearing that it was true,” he disclosed. “I thought a clean cut off was the best for both us.”

What she liked about Wakatoshi, in the beginning, was that she didn’t have to guess where she stood with him. When he told her he liked her, it was straight forward. No guessing games. When he said he liked spending time with her that was it, she believed it. For him not to confront her spoke volumes.

Then it was clear that it wasn’t because she was poor that he ended things. That brought some relief. Very little though.

“I thought you were embarrassed to be with me,” she confessed.

“Why would I be? You’re a smart and honest person.”

“Apparently you thought I wasn’t,” she hissed with narrowed eyes. “I thought you didn’t want to be with the poor girl. Because I couldn’t afford those fancy restaurants. Because I don’t live in the dorms and I have to take a bus and a train just to get home.”

“That was never a problem. I never thought about that. You are an excellent student. You deserve to be at Shiratorizawa. They only accept the best and that means you are the best.”

“And apparently with no integrity,” she sighed dejectedly. “If you would have just asked, I would have told you the truth. I know you have trouble with social cues, so let me spell it out for you, Ushijima, you’ve offended me and my honor.”

His eyes widened for a moment. Regret flashed through them. Something she had never seen in someone like him. Every move he made had purpose. She also knew that him realizing how wrong he was, was going hard for him to take.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he bowed. “That was never my intention. I wish the circumstances were different and you were here for me.”

Riko blushed at his admission. This was the Wakatoshi she liked. The one she fell for. He wasn’t afraid to admit things, but he had been afraid to confront her. 

“It’s in the past,” she told him.

“I hope you give me another chance. After we win.”

Riko was not surprised by that. Wakatoshi was filled with certainty. Not confidence. He just knew their school was extremely good. But she had seen the fire in the eyes of her brother’s team and there was something about them. A need to prove themselves. And that just might be what could get them the win.

“Do your best, Toshi,” she touched his arm and walked away. She made sure to walk fast. If she had stayed any longer, she probably would have forgiven him or kissed him. But most of all, she didn’t want him to see the tears he brought.


	2. losing my religion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: losing my religion by R.E.M.

Saeko was waiting for Riko at the entrance of the stand. Riko did her best to stop herself from crying. But she couldn’t stop the tears. Things were really over with Wakatoshi. The blond friend immediately pulled Riko to the side to let others pass.

“What happened?”

“I ran into Ushijima,” she said through a sob. “He told me…he thought I got close to him to spy on him on behalf of my little brother.”

Saeko scoffed. “That…idiot! How dare he offend you like that?”

“At least I know now why he stopped talking to me,” Riko took a deep breath willing to keep her emotions in check and then wiped her tears away. “I’m done. I’m here to cheer for my brother!” Determination filled her eyes.

“That’s the spirit! Come, we saved you a seat,” Saeko pulled her hand.

“We?” Riko asked. She was pulled to the front row.

Karasuno students filled the seats, but not as many as Shiratorizawa. It didn’t surprise her. She saw the cheerleaders as well. Some of those girls were the ones who made fun of her.

“Hey guys!” Saeko tapped a man’s shoulder.

They were dressed in Karasuno colors. One was a blonde and the other a brunette with glasses. They smiled at her friendly.

“This is Riko Hinata,” Saeko patted her back. “This is Yūsuke Takinoue,” she pointed to the blonde. “And this is Makoto Shimada.” The one with the glasses.

“Hinata?” Makoto questioned. “You’re related to Shoyo?”

“I’m his older sister,” she replied.

Both men jaws dropped to the floor.

“Yeah, I know. We don’t look related. Only in height,” she joked. “Actually he’s taller than me now by an inch, but I can still kick his ass.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” they both said.

“So…do you go to Karasuno as well?” Yusuke grinned. “Are you a second or third year?”

“Don’t be so obvious,” Makoto hit Yusuke in the ribs.

“I’m a third year at Shiratorizawa Academy,” she waited for their shocked faces and they were indeed surprised.

“Wouldn’t they want you on that side?” Makoto pointed behind him to where her fellow classmates were.

“Probably, but I’m here to support my family,” Riko grinned. “I’ve missed a lot of his games. I know how much volleyball means to him. I mean once he discovered it, he was hooked.”

“What a good sister,” Yusuke grinned. “Aren’t your friends going to be mad at you?”

Riko shrugged. “It helps I don’t have any in that school.”

They all gave her sympathy looks.

“Well, you’re our friend now,” Yusuke nodded his head.

Riko blushed. “Thank you for being so kind,” she bowed. “I’d be honored.”

“Hey! No need for that!” Makoto blushed and waved his hands.

Riko turned her attention to the court. Her brother was warming up. Their eyes met and he waved at her and she returned the wave. She was truly proud of how far he had come. She remembered when he entered that tournament in middle school with some of his friends. He had been so sad they had lost, but she also saw the spark in his eyes. A fire had been lit inside of him.

A part of her wished she was like him.

He knew what he wanted to do, and he went for it. It didn’t matter the obstacles. Even though she had the grades, she didn’t have his guts.

She was too scared to follow her own dreams. She wanted to make her family proud and that meant getting good grades, going to a good university and becoming a lawyer. But it wasn’t what she wanted. A thing she had confessed to Wakatoshi. 

Why did he always enter her mind? She clenched her hands. How dare he think that low of her? She thought he liked her. She thought he respected her. Having his respect had been a big thing for her. His brutal honesty was cruel sometimes, but she kind of liked it.

Finally, Shiratorizawa came out to warm up.

Riko’s eyes were like magnets and went straight to Wakatoshi. Her body froze in place when his eyes were directed to her as well.

A part of her did wish she was here for him as well. That she could wear his jersey number. Cheer for him. They did have something special. He didn’t let in just anyone in and she knew she got know a part of him no one else saw. He got to see a part of her she never showed anyone as well.

She was the one to break eye contact unable to maintain any longer because it hurt too much. Her chest felt so heavy.

“Whoa,” Saeko whispered next to her. “That stare that was intense, and it wasn’t even directed towards me. Are you okay Riko?” she rubbed her back.

Riko’s eyes had shifted but to someone worse. Tendou. His sharp eyes caught everything. He was confused for only a split second. His quick mind linked everything. He smirked at her and she turned her head down. Because she got close to Wakatoshi, that meant getting close to Tendou. Maybe she lied about not having friends at Shiratorizawa because she felt bad that Tendou looked so confused as to why she was on Karasuno’s side.

“Do you know Ushijima?” Yusuke asked. “Like…personally?”

“Um…we’re in the same class,” she lifted her head and sighed. “Probably wonders why I’m Karasuno’s side.”

“OI!” Saeko screamed and waved behind Riko. She was thankful the subject was dropped.

A man in with a hat and sunglasses came towards them shyly. He introduced himself as Kei’s older brother. She shook his hand and like the others was surprised to know she was related to Shoyo. She smiled warmly at him. Apparently, he didn’t want his little brother to know he was there. She found it adorable. Kei looked their way annoyed and it seemed it was obvious the secret wasn’t going to be held for long.

Down at the court Tendou approached Wakatoshi.

“Toshi, why is Riko on the wrong side?” the redhead asked. “She’s never at any of our games and when she comes, she’s on the enemy’s side?”

“Supporting her brother,” the taller man replied evenly as he stretched.

Tendou tilted his head in that way people found creepy but Wakatoshi was used to it. “Hinata? Number 10, right? Hmm, never would have guessed. Is that why you stopped talking to her and you’ve been grumpy for weeks?”

Wakatoshi had his back towards the stand, but he knew exactly where she was. He had known it the moment he stepped out. It was that connection they’ve had since they’ve met. Their first year they were put together as lab partners and it seemed every year, they had a couple of projects together. He had considered her a friend and then some more.

_“Wakatoshi,” he corrected her in the library second year. They were studying for a big final exam for the end of the final term of their second year._

_Riko’s eyes widened but softened and her blush he had found he liked seeing more and more. “Wakatoshi,” she murmured, “uh…so…this is the formula—”_

_“Would you like to get coffee with me after this?” the words blurted out of his mouth. His ears burned as he stared into her eyes. In this moment, he didn’t know what the outcome would be. Even though he could see steps ahead. Right now, he didn’t how it was going to go._

_“I’d like that,” she replied softly._

_Wakatoshi smiled. “Thank you.”_

That felt like a lifetime ago to the ace. Even though it had only been a few months. Wakatoshi had been proud to say he had no regrets. Until a few minutes ago. The hurt in her eyes had been a wakeup call. He didn’t expect to run into her. She never came to any games since she spent her time studying. He understood because she was a great student. He had felt a sharp pain when he saw her.

He had jumped to conclusions. He knew that he had done her wrong. They way her eyes filled with pain had been devastating to him.

“Hey,” Tendou slapped his back to anyone else it would have hurt, but Wakatoshi had been lost in his thoughts. “This isn’t like you, Toshi. Are you finally admitting there was something with you and Riko?”

“I made a mistake,” he told his friend.

Tendou’s eyes widened. “Huh?”

“I believed…she got close to me to spy on us to help her brother.”

Tendou rubbed his chin in thought. “But obviously that wasn’t the case. You have offended her.”

“It seems I have. I apologized, but she walked away. I’m not sure how to fix it.”

“She just needs time,” the redhead waved his hand dismissively. “Now you just have to grovel, and you’ll have her back in no time!”

Wakatoshi hated to think otherwise. “You think she will accept my apology?”

Tendou smirked his eyes going to Riko who quickly turned away with a red face. “She can’t keep her eyes off you. She just needs time, but don’t be an idiot and give her too much time. It’s good to know something other than volleyball fills that head of yours.”

Riko didn’t like Tendou and Wakatoshi talking so much. She got a cold chill like they were talking about her. She just knew it.

This was going to be her first official volleyball game in person. It was so much different than how it was on TV. Her school was already cheering. Karasuno seemed to be out of synch. Probably didn’t expect the team to get this far. Saeko mentioned the school didn’t have much time to practice the cheering.

A whistle was blown and it startled Riko. Her eyes went back to the court. She sat down unable to keep standing without feeling her knees go weak. Both teams lined up and bowed in respect to each other.

A young girl joined them. Yachi was the second manager for Karasuno. She was just as shocked to know Shoyo had an older sister. Riko planned to scold her brother for not mentioning his family to his friends. But Yachi was really nice and said she saw some resemblance between them. They apparently had the same eyes.

The game began and Shiratorizawa started off slow, but still with a heavy hand. She had seen enough practice games to know when the players were giving it their all. It took Karasuno a while to get used to Wakatoshi’s left hand. He was a force of nature. The sound that was made when he hit the ball was like a bomb. And it moved like lightning.

Every practice game she went to, she was awed by his strength. His level of concentration was incredible too. She could admit that it turned her on a little bit to see him score so easily.

The first set went to Shiratorizawa.

Riko felt like her heart was going to burst from her chest. Her teeth and hands were clenched for most of the match.

But she loved to see her brother in action. He moved so quick. She could see he was keeping her school on their toes.

During the small break, she felt it. Wakatoshi’s eyes on her. She didn’t need to turn to know it.

“He’s basically digging holes into you,” Saeko whispered to her.

When the second set started, she realized Karasuno was concentrating too much on Wakatoshi. They didn’t focus on Tendou and he was just as dangerous. A mind reader. Psychic, she used to tease him. Others used mean words, but he said he liked psychic.

Riko had a lot of mini heart attacks throughout the second set. Just when it looked like Shiratorizawa was going to get the lead, Karasuno was right behind them. She found herself on her feet with her heart in her throat. 

Kei was the reason Karasuno got the second set. Akiteru was beyond thrilled.

For the third set, she didn’t sit down. But it was hard to watch Karasuno lose it. She could see some of them were losing faith. Her eyes watched as players switched sides. Shoyo was passing Wakatoshi. Her brother froze and she could see Wakatoshi told him something.

The fourth set, Riko didn’t hold back.

“SHOYO! GET YOUR FEET OFF THE FLOOR!” she felt eyes on her. From her new friends and from her school. And from him. This was the first time she had been vocal since the game started.

Shoyo turned her way and she could see she lit a fire inside of him. Knowing he had his family supporting him meant something to him.

She screamed in joy when he was able to get past Tendou. Her little brother was astonishing. She felt so proud of him. He was working hard to make his dream come true and she wanted to be part of it.

“Yes!” he replied to her with a fist in the air.

Karasuno won the fourth set. She screamed and jumped up and down with Saeko. They hugged each other. Did she have tears in her eyes? Possibly.

In the final set, Wakatoshi did not hold back. And it didn’t look like he was tiring out. His spikes were just as strong. His serves as well. She didn’t expect anything else. Riko was a smart person. Statistically Karasuno should lose. Against a school who has gone to Nationals already. They should be doomed, but her gut told her something else.

A thing Wakatoshi hated was baseless confidence.

He meant hope. Faith.

Karasuno was filled with it and of course Shoyo.

Riko gasped when Kei blocked Wakatoshi. She saw it happen. How his pinky bent. Yachi left them to go help attend him. Akiteru left with her as well.

She was used to knowing Shiratorizawa was going to be the victor. It was why she didn’t go to the games. She trusted Wakatoshi was going to do what he needed to do. But now that it was against her brother? And after he accused her of using what they had? She wanted Karasuno to win.

Yet, she couldn’t help but feel for Wakatoshi. There was a reason he was the best. Because he lived and breathe volleyball. Karasuno was once a powerhouse, but over the years they declined. No one expects them to be the better team. But what Shiratorizawa lacked was what Karasuno had plenty of. Hunger.

The Shiratorizawa coach was clearly the opposite of what Karasuno was thriving on.

Kei returned just in time and she could see the tide turning.

Wakatoshi made an amazing spike and she could admit she loved watching him play. Really play.

“Do the concepts of stress or being out of stamina not exist to Ushiwaka?” Saeko asked beside Riko.

She was too busy to see a passion inside of Wakatoshi she never got to see. Now she felt bad that she had not seen him play before this. The practice games were nice, but she had never seen him make that face. Not only that but Riko might have fallen more in love with him because sometimes he looked like he made time itself stop and he looked like he was floating.

And yet Karasuno was not going down without a fight. And boy did her school fight. But Karasuno was pushing through. They just needed one more point.

“FLY SHOYO!” Riko screamed at the top of her lungs with tears in her eyes.

Her brother did just that. He flew and scored the point. There was a second or two where time was suspended and then the whole arena erupted in cheer. Some in disbelief. Mainly her school.

Riko jumped in joy and felt tears in her eyes as she hugged Saeko. She hugged the guys as well. She even hugged the old coach of Karasuno that had joined at some point. She stopped when once again the ace of Shiratorizawa entered her mind.

She had never heard of them losing. Her eyes went to him. He was breathing heavily and covered in sweat. The attraction was still there. She still found his olive eyes alluring and hypnotizing. She gave him a short nod and he returned it. An acknowledgment of sorts.

Riko sat back down. She had never experience so much fear and excitement in so little time. Her little brother was going to Nationals. His dream was coming true and she was here to see it happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who has left kudos!


	3. i can't be who you are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: leave out all the rest by linkin park

Riko hugged her little brother tightly. Shoyo screamed into her chest that he couldn’t breathe, but she held on a little longer. She pulled him away from her body.

“I’m so proud of you, Sho!” she brought him back for another hug.

Shoyo kept shouting. His teammates right behind him. Some of them laughed or grinned at them. She finally let her brother rest. Riko turned to his teammates. Her eyes were red from crying in happiness and filled with wonder.

“You guys were so amazing!” she put her arms in the air. “You guys were like ‘swoosh!’ and ‘wapa!’ with those spikes. Asahi, you are a great spiker.”

Asahi blushed and stuttered a thank you to her.

“She speaks Hinata,” Kageyama rolled his eyes but now could see the family resemblance between the two.

“Daichi, you are an amazing captain. You supported your fellow teammates all the way to the end,” she complimented him.

Daichi also couldn’t help but blush. He bowed. “Thank you and for cheering for us as well. Would you like to join us for dinner?”

Riko blinked in surprise. “Really? I’d be honored!” She checked her watch and realized that Shiratorizawa was probably on their way to get on their bus. She could probably still catch them. Tell Tendou a few words. “I just have to do one thing.”

“No worries, Riko!” Saeko placed her hand on her shoulder. “I’m driving us there!”

“Thank you! I won’t be long! I’ll see you later guys!” she waved to her brother’s team and headed towards the exit.

Daichi waved as she left and sighed a little. His eyes softened as he watched her.

“Got a crush, Captain?” Suga grinned behind Daichi.

Daichi jumped in surprise. “What? I just met her!”

“Shoyo would be your brother in law,” Asahi rubbed his chin as both of his friends teased him. “He’d be a handful, but Riko would be a good reward.”

“HEY! DON’T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER LIKE THAT!” Shoyo yelled not caring if they were older than him.

“It’s just a joke,” Suga ruffled Shoyo’s hair.

“This is why I don’t talk about my sister,” Shoyo grumbled. “Guys always want to know if she’s single or if I could introduce them. She deserves the best!”

Riko was able to catch as Shiratorizawa was boarding the bus. The first years were the ones putting the bags into the bus. Tendou was the one making sure they were doing it right.

“Tendou!” Riko half-yelled.

The redhead turned her way and then grinned when he saw her. “Riko!” But then turned all serious when she stood in front of him. “You have hurt my feelings!” He crossed his arms across his chest and turned away from her. “You cheered for the other team.”

“About that,” she mumbled and played with her fingers, “it was my first time seeing my little brother play. I was just supporting my family.”

Tendou grinned and removed his arms. “I will forgive you if…you give Wakatoshi a chance to apologize properly.”

Riko blushed and stuttered. “Why-why would—he told you? Of course, he did,” she sighed. She was glad the captain was nowhere to be seen. “I’m just upset about what he did…or thought of me. I never did anything for him to doubt me.”

“I told him he has a lot of groveling to do.”

“I am sorry about not being a good friend to you. You’ve been so nice to me,” she bowed. “I’m sorry, Tendou.”

“Satori,” he corrected with a smile. “All is forgiven. It’s so hard to stay mad at you.”

Riko laughed and sighed. “I’m glad there’s no hard feelings between us. I don’t have a lot of friends in school.”

“We were your friends,” Goshiki interrupted and then realized what he did and immediately began to apologize. “I’m so sorry! It just came out.”

She scratched the back of her head and saw the faces of the first years. “I didn’t know all of you felt that way. I mean I go to the practice games, but I’ve always felt like I was in the way or something.”

“Well, you weren’t,” Satori waved his finger. “Next time we play you better be cheering for us,” he touched her nose and she laughed, but she stopped because she knew this was the last game the third-years would play. It made her sad to know she never took advantage of seeing her _friends_ play again.

“Yes, I promise. Uh, I should go. My brother’s team invited me to eat with them,” she mumbled and began to leave but Santori asked her to wait. She turned back to him.

“I mean what I said about Wakatoshi,” Satori whispered to her. “He might not look like he’s sorry, but I could see he wanted to see you cheer for _him_.”

“I wanted to cheer for him too,” she smiled sadly. “See you back at school.”

“See you later,” he waved to her as she left.

Just as she left Wakatoshi walked out of the bus. He wondered what was taking so long and his eyes went to Riko as she ran.

“Was that Riko?” he asked his friend.

“You just missed her. She came to apologize,” Satori grinned. “She promised she’ll cheer for us next time.”

Wakatoshi smiled. Just a little bit, but his friend saw it. There was hope for them yet.

**

Riko could hardly take another bite. And it had been scary to see the team eat. At first, they were extremely aggressive, but now most of them were knocked out. She helped the managers with making sure no plates were broken.

“Riko,” Shoyo said next to her. “Thank you so much for coming. You were really there for me.”

She grinned. “Of course! If I had known you could actually play, I would have come sooner.”

“WHAT?!” he yelled.

Riko laughed and slapped his back. “Maybe now you’ll tell your friends you have an actual family. You don’t even talk about me.”

Her attention went to Kei who had his headphones on and ignoring most of the conversation. Her eyes went to his wounded hand. Yachi had mentioned during the game that it was the first time he had really cared about the game. She waved her hand at him and he removed one of the earphones.

“What are you listen to?” she asked genuinely curious.

There was a long pause. All eyes on them. She can sense that no one expected him to answer.

“Linkin Park,” he replied.

Her eyes widened and so did everyone else’s. “Nice! What’s your favorite album? I love Hybrid Theory. Meteora is amazing of course, but then again so is Midnight Sun. Did you listen to the new album LIVING THINGS?”

Kei half smiled and it seemed their conversation woke everyone else up.

“It’s a different sound, but I like it,” he replied.

“Yes! So different. A lot of fans don’t like it, but I love that it’s different. It means they’re growing,” she nodded her head. “It’s nice to meet another fan.”

“Riko is so cool!” Nishinoya yelled from the end of the table.

“Of course, she is!” Shoyo laughed. “She’s my older sister after all.”

Soon it was time for them to leave. Saeko offered to drop her off at her house with Shoyo. Riko bowed and then thanked her with a hug. But there was one thing she wanted to do. She caught Daichi as he was getting on the bus.

“Hey! I was wondering if I could have your number,” she took out her phone and offered it to him. Daichi’s face turned tomato red. “I’d like to know my brother’s progress and when he gets in trouble, let me know and I’ll set him straight.”

Daichi’s face color returned to normal. “Ah, yes, of course.” He took her phone and put his number in. “Are you going back to the Academy?”

“No. I don’t have a dorm there,” she mumbled. “I go home every day.”

“Isn’t it kind of far?”

“Two buses, an hour train ride and a thirty-minute walk, but it’s worth it,” she smiled.

“That’s amazing,” he smiled and gave her, her phone back. “You’re a hard worker?”

She clapped her hands. “Thank you. Please look after my brother.” She bowed her head.

“Of course,” he replied.

“Thank you so much!” she walked away feeling so much better. She was glad someone was going to be looking after her brother. She trusted Daichi. He showed on the court he was a great leader. She could be at peace going back to school.

**

Monday morning felt like any other. Yet Riko felt a change. She was closer to her little brother again. Their family have been through a lot and she put some stuff under the rug. But she had to come to the realization that she had focused so much in school, she forgot about her family. She planned to make a bigger effort to keep up with them.

Going to Shiratorizawa Academy had been something her family had been really proud of. Especially her parents.

So, she caught up herself so much in her studies that she forgot to check in with her siblings. But no more. School was important, but she realized her little brother had grown up. He had friends. Real friends. She saw it during the game. Kegeyama and Shoyo fought, but in a good way. Not that she could say much about friendships. Most of all he had teammates. He always wanted to be in a group with strong players and now he was.

But she also forgot to live life. Not all of the students in Shiratorizawa were rich snobs. The boy’s volleyball had made her feel welcome but she always thought it was because of Wakatoshi. 

Starting now, she planned to make the best of her third and last year. Her grades were looking great. Her college applications were almost done. She was ahead of schedule. Sure, exams were coming up, but she felt prepared for that.

Riko had a long transit to go to school. She was always the first one up in her family. She helped with making lunch boxes for Shoyo and Nitsu. After that, she showered and headed to school. She was happy for her birthday her parents got her an MP3 player. She was able to add some songs and she could listen to music on her way.

Two buses and half an hour walk later, she was early to Shiratorizawa Academy. The air was crisp, and she could feel winter coming. She would have to dig out her winter uniform soon.

Since she left the house early as she always did, she still had about an hour before the first class. The library was opened 24/7 for students, so that is where she spent all of her mornings. She would double check her homework and get ahead on some of the readings for the classes.

She had her own breakfast and lunch packed.

Shoyo entered her mind again. The passion in his eyes during the game had been eye opening for her.

She realized she didn’t have a passion like that maybe she did but was afraid to admit it. She’s always been good at school, but was she passionate about it? No. She did like to learn, and it came easy to her. But what she really wanted to do? She bit her lip. She couldn’t bring herself to admit it. It wasn’t what her parents would approve of. Obedient, smart little Riko? She would never have the guts.

She knew her brother was going to pursue volleyball. To some of them it was just a club and didn’t plan to have it as a career, but Shoyo was meant for greatness. She knew that deep in her bones. She had that same feeling when she used to watch Wakatoshi. He would surely surpass his father. He lived and breathed that game. Just as much passion for it that Shoyo had. Couldn’t Wakatoshi see that?

Riko reached the library entrance, but it was blocked by a certain ace player. Their eyes met and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

She spent Sunday going back and forth on reaching out to him. She had typed up a message and deleted it several times. In the end, she couldn’t do it.

“Good morning,” she spoke first. She adjusted her tote bag on her right shoulder. She wasn’t surprised he found her. This had been their routine before it all fell apart. He’d meet her here every morning. He had already done his morning run because she could see his hair was wet from his shower. He was in his uniform as well.

“Good morning. Can we talk?” he asked.

Riko nodded her head. “I’m sure our usual—the study room is open,” she blushed when she let slip old words.

He opened the door to the library for her. Shiratorizawa Academy had an amazing library. Two floors and in the back were a few rooms meant for group projects. Riko and Wakatoshi had a room that a lot of people knew it was theirs. He walked behind her but not too far. When they reached the room, she reached for the doorknob, but Wakatoshi’s hand also reached for it. His hand covered hers.

She released a squeal but was unable to pull her hand since his hand was large enough to cover hers entirely. He turned the knob with her hand. He released her hand when it opened. She ignored the tingling sensation and how warm her hand was still after he let go of it.

They entered the room. Riko moved to her usual spot and put her bag down. She had avoided this place because it was too hurtful. When he asked her out, it was here. That coffee after studying had led to their first kiss. It pained her to be in this room alone. Now it hurt even more that they were here.

The place they had as their safe haven was now graveyard of what it used to be.

“Can I say something first?” she asked.

His eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Yes, if you wish.”

“I’m sorry you’re not going to Nationals in your third year,” Riko was sincere about that. “I know how much it meant to you…to hopefully seeing your father. Also, it was marvelous seeing you play. I can finally see why a lot of people in my life love the game. I’ve never felt so…a part of something special. There. I’m done.”

“Satori recommended I be straight forward,” his deep voice was still was intimidating as ever.

“You were always straight forward. Until recently,” she muttered.

“I can’t say exactly why I didn’t ask about it sooner. For the first time in my life I didn’t know what to do. I did offend you. Not just that but worse I doubted you,” he bowed. “Please forgive me. I wasn’t sure if it mattered if you came to my games or not. Because I was confident my team would win, but seeing you there and cheering for the other team? It hurt. A part of me now believes we lost because of you.”

Riko growled. “You’re blaming me?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Yes. Hearing you scream for them. It got to me.”

She scoffed. “Sorry, I was such a burden,” she got her bag and planned to leave. She had hoped this was going to be closure. She didn’t expect them to get back together, but she didn’t expect to be blamed for their failure.

“You’re mad. Why are you mad?” he blocked the doorway.

“Because apparently I ruined your chance to go to nationals even though I did want you to go. Karasuno just happened to be better,” she shot low, but she didn’t care. “You want to know why you lost?” her blood was boiling, and she was saying words she didn’t meant to come out, but they were the truth. “It’s not all about power and height. It’s about drive and determination. Karasuno has earned their right at Nationals.”

“You have his eyes,” Wakatoshi’s words shocked her and stopped her from moving. “I wondered why they bothered me so much. Shoyo’s eyes. They remind of you.”

“What does that even mean?! Do you hate my brother? You talk about talented people like Oikawa, but he’s a dick! Kageyama? God, that kid is going places and so is Shoyo! You underestimated Karasuno and you were too arrogant to take them seriously! And that’s what pisses me off the most! Please let me leave, Ushijima.”

Riko had not called him by his last name in a while, but she was vibrating with anger and she couldn’t meet his eyes anymore. She kept staring at his chest and watched it move to the side and she opened the door and ran. She had to put distance between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! I appreciate everyone who has left kudos and comments. Honestly!  
> I was supposed to update a couple of days ago, but it's been so hot where I live, it's hard to open the laptop and edit. I have a couple of chapters ahead so thankfully I'm not rushing myself.
> 
> Once again thank you for your support!


	4. don't try to fight it, just close your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: close your eyes by kim petras

_Did you know your brother crashed the prefecture training camp?_

“What?!” Riko was on her way out of the Academy. She had been looking forward to going home and seeing her family. She got a text and was shocked to see it had been Wakatoshi. After their ‘talk’ at the library, she had not seen or heard from him.

She cried a little about it but came to terms that whatever they had was gone. It hurt but she felt it was for the best.

She did know about the training camp. She knew Kei had been invited, but not her brother. She felt bad for him, but she didn’t expect him to do this. She went the other way now to get to the south side gym. She jogged her way there and all but busted into the gym.

“SHOYO!” she growled, and everyone stopped moving. Her eyes scanned the room, but she couldn’t find her redheaded brother. Goshiki pointed to the supply closet, so she made her way there. The door was already opened, so she planned to give him a piece of her mind. How dare he do something so irresponsible? What would people say about their family? Oh, she was going to give him a such a big lecture.

But she stopped when she saw that he had his head in between mats. Her anger left as he saw his defeated little body. Her sisterly instinct kicked in and she could obviously see something was wrong.

“Shoyo,” her tone much softer.

He pulled his head from the mats and she saw his red eyes. She closed the door behind her and turned on the lights. She didn’t want anyone to see him like that. She should be mad at him, but she couldn’t find the strength when he looked at her like that.

“Riko,” he ran to her and wrapped his arms around her. He cried into her chest and she placed her arms around him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Her heart sank. “What you did was stupid and reckless. Why did you do it?” She pulled him away from her gently so she could look at him.

“How-how did you kn-know?” he hung his head in shame.

Riko blushed but was glad her brother was looking down. “Doesn’t matter. I want to know why you’re here.”

“I don’t want to be left behind!” he shouted. “Kageyama got invited to that camp and Tsukishima got invited to this and it’s not fair! I want to stand on my own two feet! I don’t want to depend on Kageyama and how am I supposed to do that if I don’t play against strong players? But…” his shoulders dropped. “The coach made me the ball boy.” His body started to shake. “May-maybe I—I should go home.”

Her nostrils flared and she brought her hand up and brought it down and hit the top of his head. “Idiot! You already made a fool of yourself might as well see this through. From what I saw, those players out there are really good. There’s a lot you can learn from just watching.”

“That’s what Coach Ukai suggested,” Shoyo nodded his head and wiped his tears.

Riko straightened her back and placed her hands on her hips. “Then there’s a purpose here then. Don’t let it go to waste. How long is this for?”

“Five days,” he muttered. “This is the second day.”

She scoffed. “You mean no one bothered to tell me until now?” she was going to give Daichi a piece of her mind since she had asked to be included in her brother’s shenanigans. She took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, so what is the damage?”

“I’ve already gotten lectured by everyone,” he slouched.

“Do you think you can learn from this?” she gestured to the door. 

Shoyo nodded his head immediately. “Trust me.”

“You know I do. I won’t tell mom because she will smack your head,” she smacked his head. “Better me than her, right?”

Shoyo rubbed the back of his head and nodded.

“What time is it over?” she checked her watch. “We might as well go home together.”

“You don’t have to stay. I know you have a lot of schoolwork and it’s so far--”

“You’re my responsibility. I’m staying. I can do homework while you do what you need to do,” she pushed him towards the door. Shoyo turned around and hugged her.

“I’m sorry for being so much trouble. I promise I will learn everything I can, and I will become a better player!”

Riko rolled her eyes and pulled him away from her. “Just hold your head high. Don’t you dare feel ashamed of what you’re doing. Be the best damn ball boy ever!” 

Shoyo opened the door and the two of them walked out together. She could sense a change in him. She was glad she was able to be there for him. Change his mindset. She felt a shiver and she turned to her left and saw Wakatoshi. His eyes clearly on her. Satori was also looking at her, but his eyes shifted to Shoyo and he grinned.

Her eyes shifted back to Wakatoshi. She gestured to him to the exit sign. He gave her a short nod. Her brother didn’t know about her relationship—or lack thereof with the ace of her school and she didn’t want him to know.

Riko followed Wakatoshi outside and no one seemed to notice they left. Even though it had only been a couple of days since she saw him, he still stole her breath away. She wasn’t mad anymore. She had been furious, but she also knew that was just who he was. He was blunt and always spoke his mind. She liked that about him, but her family was a touchy subject.

Wakatoshi didn’t know the specifics, so she didn’t blame him. It didn’t mean he had not been rude because he had been.

“Thank you for letting me know about Shoyo,” she told him. “I’m also sorry if he caused the coaches any trouble.”

“There is no need for that. Your brother already apologized to them.”

She straightened herself. Then she blanched. “Oh God! I gotta apologize to Daichi and the Coach! But I’m also pissed Daichi didn’t tell me anything last night when we talked!” she took out her phone. “God, this little shit is giving me grey hairs.” She spoke of Shoyo.

“Daichi Sawamura? You talk to him often now?” Wakatoshi’s voice almost sounded surprised.

“Yes,” she muttered as she scrolled down her contacts, “I asked for his number.”

“Oh,” Wakatoshi turned away with a frown. “You are…close?”

“I just asked for it so he could keep my updated on Shoyo, but apparently he didn’t have guts to tell me last night,” she replied and finally turned to him and smiled. “You sound jealous.”

Wakatoshi didn’t blush often, but it was also a giveaway when she was right. “You made it clear things are over between us.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, it was me who clearly ended things. Look, I came to be civil. Thank you for letting me know. I have to go.” She made a move to go back inside the gym. She could go to the second floor and work from there.

“At the library you stormed out,” he blocked her way. “What did I say?”

“That you lost because of me. How is it my fault?”

Wakatoshi sighed deeply. “Because I wasn’t aware just how much I cared if you were cheering for me or not. When we were together, you never came to any of our games and I was fine with it. Seeing you cheer for another team threw me off.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way. I was there for my brother. There’s a lot of things we each could have done differently. I could have had the guts to confront you about you ignoring me and we could have cleared the air. And you could have asked me about it as well. But that’s in the past. Here we are now. We can only move forward.”

“May I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

Riko had no idea when this conversation had turned to that, but he leaned down and caught her lips. Immediately, she felt a shock to her system. She became highly aware of everything and yet the world melted away. She was aware of only themselves. How Wakatoshi’s lips were still as soft. How his tongue was still as deadly precise. His scent. Her hands went to his biceps to hold on for dear life.

He entered her mouth and he was very familiar to what she liked and so she became putty in his hands. How easily he could kill her resolve. Why was she mad? Did the last three months just disappear?

“You confuse me so much,” Wakatoshi pulled from their kiss. His eyes were still closed. “What I meant about you having your brother’s eyes is that you both have this blaze inside of you. It’s alluring and it also upsets me. But yours is for a different reason.” He slowly opened his eyes and she saw the sincerity in his olive eyes.  
“I like you, Riko,” he said her name and she felt like she could melt to the ground because it had been so long since she heard it from his lips. “I am sorry for doubting your intentions. I wish I could take it back, but because I can’t, I want to prove I am worthy of you. Be with me. Only me.”

Every part of Riko wanted to say yes. It was what she wanted to hear for so long. But she remembered all of those weeks she was ignored. How many nights she spent crying because she didn’t feel worthy of him. She had no clue what she did to make him upset. He made her feel so horrible about herself. She wanted to run into his arms again and go back to how things were.

“I wish you would have talked to me, Toshi,” she whispered her eyes filling with tears. “Maybe things would’ve been different. But you’ve hurt me and now I need time to heal.”

Wakatoshi swallowed and his jaw tensed. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Well, you did. Because I spent weeks wondering what I did wrong to get the cold shoulder. I tried to reach out and you shut me out,” she felt her tears fall. “I have only my dignity and you took that away as well.”

“Don’t cry,” he caught her tears with his thumb. “What can I do? Whatever it is. I’ll do it.”

She blinked in surprise. Was Wakatoshi Ushijima begging? His eyes held a desperation she didn’t she would ever see. He was prideful and he never saw the need to beg for something he knew he couldn’t get.

“If you truly care, let me heal. It’s my turn to make you wait.”

He removed his hand from her face and nodded. “I will wait. Can we still be friends?”

“Right now? Maybe give me some time. Just because I don’t think we should be back together doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings for you. I still care. God damn it, I shouldn’t, but I care a lot for you.”

“I will wait then,” he kissed her forehead. “You are worth it.”

Riko’s heart ached as he left her outside. She never thought she would get this close to him. The school celebrity and the school’s scholarship girl. She didn’t think she would be in this situation. Wakatoshi could have any girl in the city. A snap of his fingers and he could have a model-like girl. Someone who could be at his level. But he said he was willing to wait for her to heal. She couldn’t deny her love for him was still there. Yet she needed time to know if they would still be there if more time passed.

She wiped away her tears and called Daichi. She still needed to know why no one told her for a whole day her brother had done something so reckless.

“Hello,” Daichi was panting when he answered.

“Why did I have to find out through another source that my brother crashed the training camp in my own school? We literally talked last night, and you didn’t bring it up.”

“I planned to let you know today but I got sidetracked with practice. Riko, I’m sorry. I told you I would look after him.”

“I’m sorry that I forgot to mention Shoyo would just do what he wanted to do anyway,” she laughed when she heard fear in his tone. “As his older sister, I’m responsible for his actions.”

“Let me make it up to you…how about dinner on Saturday,” he replied.

Riko smiled. “Dinner is on you! What time?”

Daichi was blushing madly on the other end of the line. Did she really accept? Oh God, he didn’t think she would.

“Uh…five okay?” he stuttered some of the words.

“Sounds good! Okay, I gotta go. I’m gonna be watching Shoyo.”

“See you Saturday,” Daichi replied and ended the call. Then he froze. Did I just ask Riko out? And did she accept?

“What’s with that face?” Suga panted next to his captain. “OH! Were you talking to Riko?” He teased.

Daichi’s face gave it all away. “What? I don’t have a date with her on Saturday.”

Suga’s eyes widened and then laughed. He slapped Daichi’s back. “Nice one, player!”

“What happened?” Asahi joined them.

“Daichi asked Riko on a date and she said yes,” Suga wiggled his eyebrows.

“Whoa! I mean, we all called it. He has that stupid grin whenever he’s texting her.”

“Shut up!” Daich smacked both of their heads. “It’s not a date. I just feel bad that I didn’t look after Shoyo like I promised her so...I’m paying for dinner.”

His two friends grinned at each other.

“That is the literal definition of a date,” Asahi laughed.

“I better be the best man,” Suga teased more.

**

When Riko headed back inside she had composed herself, she felt the stare of someone else. Her eyes went to her friend Satori. He grinned and she stiffened. Was it written on her face? That she kissed Wakatoshi. She tried to play it off. She went off to the coaches and apologized for her brother’s behavior. They told her it was fine. She asked if she could stick around to keep an eye on her brother and they had to go home together at the end.

“No girls,” the older coach grumbled. “You’ll be a distraction.”

“I used to come to practice a lot before,” she pointed out. “I’ll be up there and won’t make a fuss. I promise.” She bowed.

The old man sighed. “Fine. Hinatas are turning to be so troublesome.”

She ignored that and then headed with her things up the stairs. She took out her notebook and went over her notes. She was used to the sounds of the volleyball. In fact, she missed it. She had not come to any practices for months and she didn’t realize she missed the sounds. For a while everything went fine, but then a few minutes later when she looked up to check on Shoyo his nose was bleeding.

She went down to help him.

“That’s what you get,” she laughed. “Who hit you?”

“Usawaka,” he replied. “I was trying a new move and I almost had it!”

Riko eyed Wakatoshi from the corner of her eye as she stuffed her brother’s nostril with paper.

“Just be more careful,” she patted his head. She went back upstairs and returned to her studies.

Her anatomy lab was coming up and she had to remember all the muscles, veins and arteries. After a while, she heard the whistle. She checked her watch and realized the last bus was about to leave in an hour. She got up and gathered her things quickly. She went back downstairs just as the old coach told Shoyo that there was no lodging for someone who wasn’t invited.

Riko reached her brother. “Ignore that old bastard,” she whispered. “Do you need help cleaning?”

“No! I can do it!”

When he was almost done, someone asked if he could practice more. Tsukishima turned him down, but then Goshiki accepted. Then some more people accepted as well.

“Ah, Riko, you can do home if you want,” he told her.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not going without you,” she went over to a bench and sat down. “Show me what you’ve been working on.” She winked.

Shoyo’s lip trembled. “You’re the best sister in the world!”


	5. you never seem to be home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: hello by Adele

“Where are you going?” Shoyo asked with a mouthful of ramen on Saturday.

Riko was putting her shoes at the entrance of their home. “Going out with Daichi.”

Then she heard someone choking. She turned to her brother and watched as he hit his chest and then swallowed.

“You’re going on a date with the captain?!”

Riko scoffed. “It’s not a date. He’s just buying me food because he didn’t tell me about you crashing the training camp after I asked him to look after you for me.” She stopped tying her shoes when she realized how it sounded out loud. “It’s not a date.” She clarified but felt her face go hot. No, if Daichi wanted a date, he would have told her.

“Is he coming here to pick you up?” Shoyo placed his hands on his hips.

“Yeah, but it’s not a date,” she insisted, then she finished tying her shoes and stood up and went to the closet to get her jean jacket.

“He has to go through me first!” Shoyo pointed to himself. “With dad gone, I’m the man of the house and he needs my—ahh!”

Riko smacked his head. “It’s not a date. Don’t make this weird. He’s just a friend.”

There were knocks on her door. She gave Shoyo a warning glare. She went to open the door, but with Shoyo’s quick reflexes, he reached the door first and opened the door.

“Shoyo!” she growled.

“As the man of the house I have to see you to your safety,” he lifted his chin as if it would help him get taller.

Daichi stood with a small bouquet of sunflowers. Riko’s heart began to beat out of her chest. Did she get the wrong message? They did talk a lot over the last couple of days. It started out talking about volleyball, but then more about their futures and she considered him a new friend. Someone she could easily fall into a conversation with.

No. She was reading into it too much. He was just being friendly. He handed her the flowers.

“Thank you, Daichi. They’re beautiful,” she turned to her brother. “Stop being dumb,” she pushed him behind her and gave him the flowers. “Put these in water and put them in my room on my desk.”

Daichi smiled. “Shoyo, that’s admirable of you. But remember you’re still in trouble about the camp.”

Shoyo shivered from head to toe. “So, where are you guys going?” her little brother asked as he held the flowers.

“None of your business. Make sure Natsu does her homework,” she stepped out of her house and glared at her little brother. “I’ll be back later.”

“Don’t you dare kiss my sister! You may be my captain but she’s my sister!” Shoyo shouted.

“SHOYO!” Riko barked and closed the door in front of his face. She turned to Daichi. “Sorry about that.” She scratched the back of her head. Her brown hair was down in soft curls. She was dressed in jeans and a simple shirt.

“It’s all right. It’s nice he looks after you like you look after him,” he chuckled, and she saw his cheeks tinted with some pink.

Her stomach started to flutter. No, she told herself, he doesn’t like me. “So where are we eating?”

Daichi walked over to a car she had not noticed. It was an older model, but she didn’t know he owned a car.

“It’s my mom’s,” he read her mind. “I asked her if I could borrow it for today.” He opened the passenger door for her, and she got in. “You do live over a mountain and I’m not Shoyo who can walk it so easily.”

She laughed with him because she wouldn’t be able to do that either. She told herself to calm down. This was just two friends hanging out. Did he bring flowers? Yes, but they weren’t romantic flowers. Was this all in her head? She jumped a bit when Daichi got into the driver’s side.

“We’re going to get some barbecue,” he grinned.

Riko flashed him a big smile. “Yes! I love barbecue. Some meat!”

Daichi laughed. “Now I definitely know you’re related to Shoyo.” He turned on the car and some music started to play. Did her ears deceive her?

“Is that Linkin Park?” she asked with wide eyes and a big smile. “Hybrid Theory.”

“Uh, yeah…I asked Kei if he had a CD I could borrow. You mentioned you liked them at the dinner, and this was your favorite album.”

Riko felt her heart skip a beat at the small, but grand gesture. He listened. He remembered something about her. He started to drive, and she was glad he was distracted by the road so she could get over whatever her face was doing. It wouldn’t stop smiling.

“Do you listen to a lot of foreign bands?” Daichi spoke breaking the silence.

“Uh, yeah. I was raised in the US before coming over here,” she told him. She didn’t tell too many people because most were skeptical about foreigners especially in the part where they lived.

Daichi’s eyes widened. “Really? You—oh…wow.”

She chuckled because she knew he would react that way. She didn’t look foreign. “Shoyo and I don’t have the same father. I mean, he has his dad who kind of took me in as his own. But when I was born my father wanted to raise me and since my mom was single and not married to my father, she let it happen. I still came to Japan during summer breaks and learned Japanese.” She never told anyone specifics. Not even Wakatoshi. It just never came up.

“Wait, so when did you move fully to Japan?”

“Second year of middle school.”

“Why all of a sudden?”

Riko didn’t like to talk about this, but she could see Daichi was a good person. She could confide in him.

“My dad remarried when I was twelve. His new wife got pregnant and she thought that my father should focus on their new child and that I should be with my mother. I didn’t want my dad to choose between me and his new family, so I told him I wanted to go live with my mom,” it didn’t get any easier to say it out loud. “But in the end, I made the right decision. I had Shoyo and Natsu to look after. And their father took me in as his own and never made me feel like I wasn’t a part of the family.”

“Still that was unfair of your dad to do to you,” Daichi clenched the steering wheel for a moment in anger and then relaxed. “You’re a really strong person, Riko.”

She shrugged. “I just got dealt an unlucky hand. I’m happy now. I’ve made so many new friends! Thanks to Shoyo I met you…and the others.” She quickly added the last part and laughed. “Please let’s just have a good time.”

“We’ll have so much fun,” he agreed.

“Also let me know if I overshare. I tend to do that when I’m nervous.”

“I make you nervous?” he asked.

“Yes,” she didn’t lie.

“Good to know I’m not the only one. So, what song is your favorite in this album?” he asked, and she liked he changed the subject.

“Ugh, that is a hard one. Honestly, the lyrics in this album are good.” She really thought about it and smiled when she came to a conclusion. “‘With You’ is my favorite.”

He changed it to that one and she grinned and started to sing along with it. She liked how she could easily open up with him and how she could be herself.

They got to the restaurant and were seated. A waiter came and asked what kind of meet they wanted, and they agreed on the same kind plus two bowls of rice and a side salad. Their conversation went over to volleyball. He talked about how he got into it. From when he was a young kid and to now. He and the other third years decided to stay with the team until the very end.

“You must be so excited to go to Nationals,” she mentioned and drank some of her soda. “I’m kind of caught up with the volleyball stuff and Karasuno hasn’t been to Nationals in a long time, right?”

Daichi nodded his head. “But I had a feeling at the beginning of the year it was going to happen. It’s because of the first years that joined us. Where does Shoyo get those quick reflexes?”

She laughed. “I have no clue. He’s always been full of energy. I’m glad I went to his game. I felt bad for not going to the other ones. But Shiratorizawa sure kept me busy with applying to universities.”

“Oh, you plan to attend a University?”

“Yeah, I mean,” she played with her rice a bit, “it’s what my dad wants. He said he’ll pay for it. He was really happy I got into Shiratorizawa. He was going to pay for that too, but I told him I got scholarships for it. Plus, he just had his second kid when I was going to start.”

“Riko, what do you want?” Daichi’s brown eyes looked into her own. “So far you’ve always done what your dad wants. But what do you want?”

Riko’s throat became dry as a desert. She thought about it and realized no one had asked her that. Not even Wakatoshi. Her brain felt like it had reached some sort of block and it was entirely blank. She shook her head and brought herself back to the real world.

“It doesn’t matter. My family expects me to become a lawyer, like my dad. I can’t argue with that. They make good money.”

“But it’s not what you want. C’mon, what are you passionate about?” he pushed gently. She hated how good he was at getting her to open up.

“Ugh,” she blushed and put her bowl of rice down and her chopsticks, “you’re going to think I’m insane.”

“I am not going to judge,” he chuckled.

Riko covered her face as she prepared herself to say it. “I want to…ahhh,” she muffled her sound. “It’s so hard to say out loud. I want…to…become an artist. I love to draw, paint and just make art.”

“Why is that hard to say?” he removed her hands from her face. His eyes were filled with understanding and warmth. “It’s what you want.”

“My mom and dad both expect with my grades to just get into law school, but it’s not what I want. I got into drawing and I just love it.”

“That’s not a bad thing to want.”

“No? It’s not silly?”

“Not at all.”

“You don’t even know if I can draw,” she laughed.

He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”

She grinned. “You’re amazing, Daichi. Hardly anyone could ever get me to say that stuff. Okay, enough about me. What do you want to do? After high school.”

“I want to help my community, so I’ve been thinking of becoming a police officer.”

She clapped her hands. “That’s splendid. I can totally see you in a police uniform. And you’re a great leader.”

Daichi’s face turned hot. “Oh, thank you.”

The rest of the time they talked about each other. She told stories of her time trying to learn Japanese and how horrible it was at first. Then she learned by mostly watching anime. It was why she was secretly a weeb. He admitted he watched some as well. They started to talk about that. Then it was time to leave. He asked if she wanted to go get ice cream. She agreed because she was definitely in the mood for something sweet.

There was a parlor down the street from the restaurant, so they decided to walk. It was dark already and she was glad she brought her jacket. It was getting colder and she mentioned that it was probably going to snow soon.

At the ice cream parlor, it was fun to find out how normal Daichi was. He got vanilla. She got the fudge chocolate.

“Chocolate is my kryptonite,” she winked at him they had talked about American superheroes and how his favorite was Superman. At the register, she insisted she would pay since he paid dinner. But he argued he was still apologizing. She let him pay.

“You guys are such a cute couple,” the older cashier told them.

“Thank you,” Daichi bowed his head, but didn’t correct the older woman.

Riko waited until they sat down. “We’re a couple now?”

“I didn’t want to break her old heart,” he chuckled nervously.

“So, this is a date?” she raised an eyebrow. A part of her didn’t know if she wanted it to be or not. She just went through a breakup. A second time. But Daichi did make her feel something. He made her feel special. She was herself and there wasn’t anything weird between them. No hang ups of any kind.

“If you want it to be,” he murmured as he hid his face behind his ice cream.

“You’re so cute,” she giggled but then turned serious. “Daichi, I feel I should be honest with you. I was dating someone for a bit and we recently broke up.” She looked down at her ice cream. “He meant a lot to me. I’m not sure if…I’m ready.”

“Hey,” his soft voice made her look up, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. This doesn’t have to lead to anywhere. We can be friends for now.”

“For now?” she smirked.

“Oh, I plan to win your heart, but I can see you need time. I’m more than willing to wait.”

In Riko’s head she heard Wakatoshi’s promise as well. That he would wait for her to heal as well.

“There’s no pressure,” Daichi told her. “Really.”

And yet, Riko felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. How could she develop some feelings in such a short amount of time? How did Daichi sneak his way in? She thought he was just a good friend. They did talk a lot and she revealed more about herself to him than to most people.

“What kind of music do you mostly listen to?” he changed the subject and she was thankful.

“Um, not sure. I listen to a lot of different kinds. It goes from classical to black metal.”

He nearly choked on ice cream. “Black metal?”

“I know. I don’t look like the kind of girl who listens to Cradle of Filth, but they have some good songs when you’re stressed. It helps me study.”

“You’re so full of surprises, Riko, but I’ll admit I have no idea who ‘Cradle of Filth’ is,” he laughed lightly. “But I like getting to know you.”

“I think I’ve told you more about me than to my own family.”

“Shoyo doesn’t know? About what your dad did?”

“Not something we talk about,” she shrugged. “Not his problem. So, let’s change the subject. Nationals…on your final year. Are you sad about it?”

“I try not to be,” he admitted. “But a part of me wishes this would have happened sooner, but I’m beginning to think it happened for a reason. I’m also terffied that we’ll lose on the first round. I want to stay on the court for as long as possible. I’m sure if Tobio and Shoyo had not joined we wouldn’t be going. Are you going to the games?” he licked his ice cream.

They were both almost done with their ice cream.

“I should be able to. I can probably go,” she nodded her head. “I should probably look into getting a hotel or something. I bet it’s probably all sold out.”

“Ask Saeko. She and the others got a place.”

“I’ll ask,” she nodded her head. “Thanks for inviting me.”

Daichi chuckled nervously. “I mean…I think you are part of the reason we won.”

She shook her head. “No way. You guys were so amazing. I mean I think I fell in love with volleyball watching you guys.”

“Shoyo was really happy to see you in the crowd,” he smiled softly.

“Wait, I’ve been meaning to ask. What happened to your face that day?” she laughed at the memory of his bruised face. “I didn’t say anything then.”

Daichi laughed. “Oh yeah. I died.” He finished his ice cream and wiped his hands with some napkins.

Riko laughed with him and finished her eating her cone. “What?”

“Yeah, Ryu killed me,” he continued with the joke. “He and I collided, and I lost a tooth.”

“What?!” she half shouted and covered her mouth when he pulled at the corner of his mouth and showed the missing tooth. “Oh my God! I can’t believe it. And you still played an amazing game against my school. You’re a tough guy, Daichi.”

Suddenly, there was the older lady setting down hot tea in front of them.

“For the cute couple. On the house,” she winked at Riko. “He’s a good looking one. And you,” she turned to Daichi, “don’t let her go.”

The older woman walked away. Riko and Daichi looked at each other and giggled.

“I can’t say no to a free drink,” Riko shrugged and picked up her teacup. He picked up his cup and they cheered and drank it.


	6. if you can promise me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: promise me by we came as romans.

On the drive back, Riko was humming to the Linkin Park music. Daichi realized next time they should walk to a restaurant because he wanted to look at her. He had to keep his eyes on the road, but he could admit he took his eyes off of it to glance at her as she looked out the window.

When she told him, she was getting over a relationship, he did hurt a little. But of course, someone like her had a boyfriend. He was happy she was comfortable with him enough to confide in her personal life. Very personal life. At first glance, she looked like a normal person. A nice girl who had a lot on her plate, but clearly cared about her family. Smart. Witty. Gorgeous. Not someone who had gone through a traumatic childhood. She also didn’t seem to hold any grudge against her mom and dad even though she had every right to do so. She was also there for anyone who needed her. She didn’t let her dark past define her.

His heart ached at the thought of a young Riko jumping on a plane to move across the world because her father preferred his new family.

Daichi was so lucky. He did plan to win her heart.

Riko checked her watch and saw that it was almost ten. Natsu should be in bed already and Shoyo was probably in the backyard practicing. She looked over to Daichi and smiled. For a few hours she felt like a normal teenager.

He turned left and soon they would be at her house. He slowed down when her house came into view and he stopped once they were in front of it. The air seemed to thicken inside of the car. The streetlights gave very little light, so it was like they were consumed in darkness. Could he hear her heart beating out of her chest?

Her palms got very sweaty all of a sudden.

“I gues—”

“Maybe—”

They both spoke at the same time. They turned to each other and laughed.

“Daichi, I had a great time. I really needed it,” she played with her fingers. “Thank you for listening to me.”

“No problem. Thanks for listening to me as well. I—uh—well, I know I said there was no pressure, but I know there’s the school festival coming up. Wo-would you like to go?”

Even though Riko did say she wasn’t ready. She really liked his company. She did tell him about her situation, so for now they were just friends hanging out. Right?

“I’d love to go,” she replied. “I should get going.” Her hand went to the door handle, but she hesitated. She turned back to Daichi and leaned over and pressed a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.” Their eyes connected for a long moment. He smiled softly at her and she loved how pink his cheeks were. She got out of the car and headed to her house.

At the entrance of her home, Shoyo stood there with his arms crossed across his chest. She did like that her little brother worried.

“He better not have laid his hands on you,” Shoyo shook his fist.

Riko laughed. “I laid my hands on him,” she winked. Shoyo gasped. “I’m joking. I just gave him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you for the lovely time.” She took off her jacket and put in the closet and then she took off her shoes and put on her home slippers.

“I thought it wasn’t a date,” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“And if it was?” she asked. “Do you have a problem with it? Do you think Daichi is a bad person?”

Shoyo pouted. “Of course not. It’s just…weird. You could do worse, like if you ever dated someone like Ushijima. Now that would piss me off.”

Riko’s face blanched. How weird that he thought of that exact person. “Yeah, that’d be ridiculous. Anyway, go to bed! Wait, brush your teeth and then go to bed.”

Shoyo feigned innocence. “If I already did?”

“Then I’m Princess Diana,” she smacked his arm and pushed him towards the restroom. “Go now!”

Monday morning it took her a little longer to get up. She might have stayed up talking to Daichi and then she got inspiration to draw. She took out her sketchpad and decided to draw by hand. She drew the sunflowers that were on her vanity. The ones Daichi got for her. She fell asleep shortly after she finished. But now it was time to go back to school.

She walked Natsu to her school and then she headed off to her own. The music helped pass the time. Jimmy Eat World’s ‘The Middle’ tended to be her go to when she needed some little reassurance. Talking to Daichi about her family had been something she didn’t expect. How did he make her feel so comfortable? She rested her forehead on the window of the bus. She had not thought about her dad in a while. 

The last time he called he said he couldn’t wait to find out if she got into the school he wanted her to go. Chiba University. It was where he went. Who was she to resist? She took a deep breath and for the first time in a long time her future seemed blurry. That conversation with Daichi had shook her to her core.

She never thought she had…options. A choice. She lived her life quietly. When her dad started dating Sara, her stepmom, Riko wanted to be good so she did her best to be the best child. She didn’t make a fuss. She didn’t throw tantrums. She wasn’t a child. And she figured out quickly the only way to get her dad’s attention was with good grades.

He was always so happy to see how well she did. So, she threw herself into her schoolwork because she loved how he looked at her when he got that report card. 

Riko pushed those thoughts back. She worked hard to keep her mental state as healthy as possible. She couldn’t let herself get dragged down that road again.

On the stop of her bus where she still had a thirty-minute walk, she saw someone she didn’t expect.

Satori. He was leaning against the wall and when he saw her, he cheered. He hugged her tightly and she laughed and hugged him back.

“Do what do I owe this pleasure?” she asked as she pulled away and readjusted her bag.

“I just haven’t seen you in a while,” he shrugged, and they started walking in the direction of their school.

“You got up extra early to see me?” she jabbed his rib.

“Of course. You’re one of my best friends.”

Riko blushed. “Really?”

“Really. You’ve never called me a monster,” he murmured like it was nothing.

She smiled softly. “That’s because I quickly figured out, you’re just a soft teddy bear.”

“What? I am intimidating with my psychic powers.”

She laughed whole heartedly. “Of course, Satori,” she patted his back. “How was your weekend?”

He sighed. “The family couldn’t really come out to see me.”

She frowned. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged it off, but she knew it got to him sometimes. “We haven’t had a chance to talk since the game,” he put his hands in his pockets.

Riko sighed. “I’m not sure how much he told you. But I figure he told you everything.”

“You know Wakatoshi is competitive. He didn’t understand why we lost, but when you yelled at him, he understood. He still cares about you. I know you care about him. But you are not giving him a chance.”

“Of course, I cared,” she defended.

“You don’t anymore?”

She chewed her lip. “I feel bad talking about him behind his back. I’m sorry, Satori. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

He nodded his head. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s just complicated. Nothing to do with you. I’m glad you’re my friend. I just thought you were nice to me because of Wakatoshi.”

“What?! I’m offended. I’m not friends with people I don’t want to be.”

She laughed. “Good to know. So, did you study for the chemistry exam?”

“We have an exam?!”

Riko liked Satori. He was actually fun to be around. He walked her all the way to the library. He left her there and she used the time study a little more for the exam. But her mind kept wondering to what Daichi told her. She should do what she wants. She brought out her sketch notebook from her backpack. She never brought it to school.

She wasn’t sure if she should bring it, but it felt good. Being an artist was a part of who she was. She denied it. She hid it. She buried it deep down because she didn’t want to hope. But it was what she loved. Much like how Shoyo was passionate about volleyball. She just never thought it was worth something. She was taught grades were more important than passion.

A volleyball career seemed more reachable than what she wanted to do, so she pushed down the urge to follow her own dream. What would she do with it? She did want to pursue it though. Even if it meant it went nowhere. She could at least say she tried. She couldn’t believe Shoyo—of all people—was inspiring her. She was never going to forget his face when he was playing. It was like he found his place in the world. A place he belonged.

Her heart felt like it went down that dark hole again. A place to belong. She never felt like that. Maybe not until recently. With Satori and the others now becoming a part of her life? She didn’t feel so alone anymore.

Riko opened her sketchbook. She pulled out her pencils and then started to draw. She should use this time to let her feelings out. Time flew by and before she knew it, it was time to go to her first class. She looked at her drawing and saw that she drew her school mascot. An eagle. She smiled to herself because she was proud of it. She went to her first class which was Calculus.

A class she had with Satori and Wakatoshi. She waved to the middle blocker and even the ace.

The next two classes seemed to fly by as well and before she knew it, it was lunch time.

At lunch she went to her usual spot where she sat by herself in the cafeteria. That was until there were some people who sat around her. Specifically, the boys volleyball team. Including Wakatoshi. She looked at them curiously this wasn’t their usual table. They just started talking about their classes and the practice after school. Her eyes went to Satori who was just talking to Eita.

Wakatoshi had sat right in front of her. He ate his lunch in silence.

“Riko, did you make your own lunch?” Goshiki asked and pointed to her lunchbox.

“Uh, yes.”

“So you can cook,” he grinned. “You’ll make great wife.”

Eita smacked the back of his head. “Watch your mouth.”

“Ow,” Goshiki grumbled. “I still can’t believe Shoyo is your brother. You have dark hair and you don’t look alike.” Eita smacked his head again. “OW! What am I doing wrong?”

“Enough,” Wakatoshi told both of them. “Be respectful to each other and to Riko.”

Riko turned to him a bit surprised. They all continued to eat together, and this was the first time she had this many people to eat with her. Her eyes found his and he gave her a short nod and she returned it. The class after lunch was English. Easily her easiest subject. Not many people knew she was half American.

The teacher handed back the test scores for their last exam. She wasn’t surprised to know she got them all correct.

“Mr. Ushijima,” the teacher stopped by him, “I suggest you take these exams a little more serious. Even if you do become a big volleyball player, you should give it your all.”

It wasn’t a surprise Wakatoshi struggled with English. She had known it wasn’t his best subject.

“All right class. Since I know most of you are taking entrance exams for universities and are studying for it. I will assign an easy group project.”

Most of the class groaned.

“It won’t be bad. It’s simple one. Pick an American movie from the 1980’s and write a speech about it in English summarizing the movie and the meaning of it. You have one week to complete it. And that’s it. No homework. Now go into groups of no more than three.”

“Riko, Wakatoshi and I will be together,” Satori raised his hand from next to Riko.

“Uh, sure, whatever,” the teacher waved his hand. “Get together after class and discuss. For now, let’s watch the next episode of the Good Wife.”

It was the teacher’s way of teaching English. He just put the subtitles on. It was one of the reasons she thought this class was the easiest. As the episode played, she glanced over to Satori who had a shit eating grin. She had hoped she could go this year without a project with Wakatoshi, but it seemed destiny—or a psychic middle blocker—had other plans.

At the end of the class she stood up and went over to her group members.

“So, should we meet in the library? After your volleyball practice?” she asked.

“There’s no practice today,” Satori grinned. “We can go to our dorm like old times.”

Riko cleared her throat. “Uh, sure. It’s just a group project. Like any other.”

The boy’s dorm was supposed to be forbidden for girls. Even if she didn’t live in the dorms, but she used to hang out at their dorm all the time before. Sometimes her study room in the library was taken or they were full and so they’d used to come here. The teachers trusted Riko and Wakatoshi. The straight A student and the star athlete surely wouldn’t do anything. At first, they didn’t do anything. They would do their group projects, but when they took the next step in their relationship, it was where he would make her feel alive.

He was her first kiss and first lover.

Satori had been gone all week for a family thing. Her and Wakatoshi usually just made out, but for a while things had escalated between them. She knew Satori was going to come back soon and she felt ready. She felt she trusted Wakatoshi. And it had been wonderful; not perfect since they were both virgins, but he took care of her. He made her feel loved and like the only person in the world.

They sneaked around a couple of times. Before school. After practice. It had been amazing discovering sex with someone she felt so comfortable with. It was why his cold shoulder had hurt so much. Also, maybe because it reminded her of how things were when her dad would do it. He was so caught up in work that he hardly paid attention to his own daughter. _Why was she so easy to cast aside?_

Wakatoshi didn’t know about her daddy issues. She couldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t know.

But she felt used. Like he had gotten what he wanted, and he was done with it. With her. She swore he wasn’t like the other boys. He said things to her that night that haunted her. Now she was going to be back in the dorm, and she knew she wouldn’t be able but think about that night.

Did he mean any of it?

The rest of the classes ended too quickly. She made her way to the boy’s dorm. Dread in her stomach. She knew where to go. Her feet still seemed to remember where to go. She had texted her mother she would be later than usual for a group project. She just told her to be careful and to make sure to eat.

She knocked on Satori and Wakatoshi’s door. It opened quickly and was greeted by the redhead first. Behind him stood Wakatoshi. They were in their sweats and sweaters. Yet, he still looked so handsome. Her eyes went to his bunk bed and then back to his and it seemed he did the same thing. Her face flushed with color and her stomach felt like turning inside out.

“Come in,” Satori moved to the side for her and she skeptically stepped inside. It was a small dorm room but there were a lot of good times spent in it. The one she didn’t want to remember kept coming back. “My! We can’t eat on empty stomachs. I’ll go get us food.”

Riko opened her mouth to object, but Satori was out the door and he closed it behind him. Leaving her in a small room with one of the biggest persons in the world. She turned back around and faced Wakatoshi.

“So, have you guys given any thought on the project?” she asked as she walked past him to get to the small study table. She placed her bag there.

“Not really. He didn’t even ask what we wanted,” Wakatoshi took out his phone with furrowed eyebrows. “I’ll text him. What would you like, Riko? Fried rice with beef as always?”

She bit her lip but nodded her head. He still remembered her favorite dish. He finished texting Satori and then he sat down on the edge of his bed. The silence was deafening. She was sure if a pencil dropped it would sound like a bomb.

“May I say something?” he broke the silence between them. He sat with his legs opened and he had his hands laced together.

“Sure,” she nodded.

“What you told me in the library was true,” he licked his lips. “I was overconfident and didn’t take Karasuno seriously. Not as much as I should have. I did know your brother was a good athlete, but with little experience…I never thought we would lose.”

Riko was shocked to hear him say all of that.

“But not just that,” he continued and stared deep into her eyes. “I know what I did to you was a disgrace, Riko. I was extremely hurt and didn’t think things through. You’ve been a good friend…and much more, of course. I know we can’t pick up where we left off, but I want to continue being your friend. I am deeply sorry for hurting you.”

Riko did some soul searching herself. She should’ve listened to what he had to say more carefully. He was trying. She didn’t want to be the rest of her third year angry. She didn’t want to avoid him anymore. They were friends before. He didn’t let a lot of people get close to him. That meant it did mean something to him.

“I think we can start over, Wakatoshi,” she smiled softly. “I blew up on you at the library,” she blushed remembering the searing kiss he gave her outside of the gym. “I was hurt that you ignored me for a long time for no reason. But you’ve apologized and I know you mean it. I accept your apology. For now, we can be friends.”

“For now. But I will win you back.” There was that sharp determination she only saw when he played on his face. Then his face softened. It made her happy to know that he was still going to try. “I saw you brought your sketch book. Are you drawing again?”

She blinked in surprise. “How did you know?”

“I saw your fingers covered in coal in the first class.”

She chuckled. “So observant.” She took out her sketch book and turned to the page she did and showed it up by holding it up. “Someone convinced me that I should do what I want instead of what is expected of me. This is the first time I’ve had the courage to bring this with me.”

“Someone?” he questioned.

Before she could answer, the door slammed open and Satori returned with their food. The conversation was shifted when they were eating because Satori saw her sketch book and he asked if he could see it. She nodded her head and let him look through it.

“Oh! You are so good!” the redhead complimented. “How come I didn’t know you were an artist?”

“Not something this school usually cares about,” she chewed on her rice. “I didn’t get in because I’m good at drawing.”

“Oh, that’s me!” he shouted and turned the sketch book to Wakatoshi. It was a drawing of his hands. She imagined what the other team looked at when Satori blocked them. “I recognize my hands anywhere. Oooh, look Toshi, it’s you.”

Riko almost choked on her rice. She forgot about that drawing. She did it the night her school lost to Karasuno. The image of Wakatoshi suspended in time played in her head over and over. She had to draw it. She even drew the wings of an eagle for an extra effect.

Wakatoshi took the notebook from Satori and his eyes went all over the page. She bit her lip but then her heart skipped a beat when he smiled. A real smile from Wakatoshi Ushijima. It was still special to make him smile. She felt like a part of a secret club and she loved when he smiled because of her.

She still wasn’t over him. And if he planned to win her heart again, he just might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this story is a Wakatoshi one, but Daichi just kind of sneaked his way in. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left lovely comments and kudos.


	7. find someone who loves you better than i do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: july by noah cyrus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: smut in this chapter

Riko and Wakatoshi were back to a semi-normal relationship. The project for their English class was pretty easy. They decided on the movie ‘Dark Crystal’. The three of them watched it together. Satori loved it. Wakatoshi didn’t really understand it, but said it wasn’t bad. Riko told them it was one of the movies she remembers from her childhood. Her dad used to play it every Christmas.

It was fun for her to see their expressions. Not a lot of people knew about the movie. It was mainly an underground movie by now. But it gave Riko fond memories of sitting on the couch on Christmas morning with her dad with a cup of hot cocoa. Marshmallows and sprinkles. Back when it was only the two of them. Before Sara.

Their presentation on the movie was quick and the teacher was impressed they chose such an unknown movie. Most of the class stuck to the main ones.

Riko began to draw more. She did it between classes. She did it after she ate lunch. But the mornings were for her studies. The last thing she wanted was for her grades to fall and have her parents notice.

On Wednesday on her way to Shiratorizawa, she was sketching on the bus. She was also nervous because she made an appointment with a counselor. She wanted to find out if there was still time to apply to some art schools. Even though she loved to draw, was she good enough to get in? And was it too late?

She reached her stop and this time waiting for her was Wakatoshi. This time he was still in his jogging clothes and covered in sweat from it. Her eyes went to the droplets of sweat going down his neck and she did her best not to burst into flames. Her eyes moved to his and it stole her breath to see the fire in them.

“Good morning,” she greeted him.

“Morning,” he returned. “May I walk with you?”

“Sure,” she nodded her head and then started walking. He walked next to her. “How have you been?”

“I’m doing well. I have some idea of what league I’ll join after we graduate,” he said.

Riko smiled. “I’m glad. I bet a lot of teams are trying to get you. You are so good.”

“What about you? Last time you said you were applying to Chiba. Are you still interested? Or do you plan to go to an art school now?”

She knew he would piece everything together. Sometimes he wasn’t as clueless as he seemed to be about the people around him.

“I’m not sure,” she sighed. “I hope it’s not too late to apply to the art schools. I haven’t done a lot of research.”

“There’s a good art school in Tokyo called Tama Art,” he commented.

“Did you look that up?” she chuckled.

“Yes,” was his simple answer.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to be happy. I see your face when you draw. It’s beautiful.”

Riko stopped walking and felt a lump in her throat. “Wakatoshi, thank you,” she murmured and turned away hoping her face didn’t give away her embarrassment. Will she ever get used to getting praise from him? It was always extra special because she knew he meant it. “But hopefully there is still time.”

“I will help anyway I can.”

He walked her to the library study room and left. She went to use one of the computers at the library and looked up the school Wakatoshi recommended. Her face turned white when she saw that the admission applications were due very soon. In ten days. She had so little time to prepare.

Her hope was diminishing as she continued to find out what she needed for the examination. She had been preparing for Chiba for months and she felt she had that in the bag. But Tama Art required her to have a portfolio. She didn’t really have one. She had her sketches, but would that be enough?

Could she do it?

She had to try.

During her first class, she could hardly concentrate. She started writing down what she needed to do in order to apply. She realized she didn’t even look up how much it was going to be. It was after all a private school. Which meant it was going to be very expensive. She could get scholarships. But would she be able to qualify?

Was she even that good? Did she deserve to apply?

“Earth to Riko,” a hand waved in front of her face.

She blinked and looked around and realized she was in the cafeteria eating with her friends. They were all giving her worried looks. She had totally dissociated. She hardly remembered her classes.

“What?” she asked Satori who had been the one to wave his hand in front of her face.

“You’ve been muttering under your breath and have this sad look on your face,” he leaned in from across from her and gave her a sympathetic expression. “What’s going on?”

“No-nothing!” she straightened her back. “It’s just…I’m…tired.”

“Never been a good liar,” Satori waved his finger in the air in disapproving manner.

She scratched the back of her head. “Yeah, I’m not. Wakatoshi recommended a very good art school to go to—”

“Oh! Yes! You’re applying?” the redhead grinned and then turned to the guys. “She drew me and Wakatoshi and she’s amazing.”

The guys smiled and started to ask if she’s drew them yet and if they could see her drawings. Wakatoshi told them to stop so she could continue. She gave him a grateful smile.

“The application is due in ten days. Then the exams are in Tokyo. I still haven’t told my parents,” she cringed at the thought of telling her dad.

“If it’s something you want, then go for it,” Satori advised.

“I told you I would help anyway I could,” Wakatoshi added.

“Let’s go to the library and get started on that application!” Satori jumped out of his seat and slammed his hands down on the table.

“Yes! Let’s go!” everyone else chimed in.

Riko laughed and felt tears form in her eyes. She was so glad she had them as her friends. They did go to the library and they started the application together. After lunch, Riko went to see her counselor.

“Tama Art Unviersity?” Yamamoto was her counselor. An older woman in her late forties strict but overall nice. “Riko, we have been preparing for Chiba for months. Why the sudden change?”

Riko pulled out her sketchbooks. She brought two other ones that were filled with drawings. Every single page was drawn in.

“Because I want to at least try,” she told the older woman. “I don’t want to live my life with regrets.”

Her counselor smiled as she flipped through the pages. “You are very good. Have you told your parents?”

“I’m not even sure if I’ll get to the examinations. I don’t want to say anything until it happens.”

Yamamoto sighed and leaned back on her chair. “You are talented, Riko. I wish you would have shown me this sooner and we would have been better prepared, but I do love a challenge,” she grinned but then dropped it. “It’s a private school and that means it’ll be extremely expensive.”

“I have a plan,” Riko placed her hands on the desk. “I’ll get a job and get as many scholarships as I can. I have a list of those too. I plan to start applying right away.”

“Then let’s get to it.”

Riko grinned and felt like crying again. She was going to chase her dream as well. Just like Shoyo. She planned to use everything she could to make it happen. And if it didn’t happen, then she can say that she tried.

That night she was on the phone with Daichi. She was on her bed looking up at her ceiling with her phone next to her ear.

“Tama Art? Where is that?” he asked.

“Tokyo,” she replied.

“Oh,” there was a hint of sadness in his tone, but it quickly changed, “I’m so happy you’re doing what you finally want.”

“Honestly, I had not even looked into schools until Wakatoshi mentioned it,” she chuckled. “I looked into it and I fell in love with the programs. It has exactly what I want to do. Graphic art. There’s other stuff as well I want to explore, but it feels so good to look into it.”

There was dead silence on the other line for a long moment. She wondered why and then she realized she mentioned Wakatoshi’s name.

“Ushijima, Wakatoshi?” Daichi asked.

Riko sat up on her bed and sighed. “Yeah.”

“He’s that ex you told me about.” Daichi was a smart guy and pieced everything together.

She nodded her head as if he could see her. “Yes. But we’re just friends now. We’ve been broken up for months now.”

“Did you break up because you cheered for us?”

“No, we were broken up before the game. He thought…” she was going to say what happened, but that was private. She trusted Daichi, but she didn’t want to dish out dirt on Wakatoshi. Not when they were on good terms now. “We just had a misunderstanding and now we’re just friends.” She wasn’t sure why she wanted to clarify it. “Could you please not tell Shoyo? He doesn’t know. And there’s not much to tell and I don’t want to upset him.”

“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping,” Daichi sounded embarrassed. “It’s just…I…I just want to make sure you’re…okay.”

“I’m fine. He broke it off, but I’ve made my peace with it,” she half lied because she might have fallen a little more in love with the ace because of how much he helped her today. How much he showed he still cared.

“He’s crazy for doing that. You’re an amazing person, Riko,” Daichi said on the other end. “I know you’re going to achieve your goal.”

She was glad she met Daichi. She needed someone like him in her life.

“Thank you. You always know exactly what to say.”

**

For the next eight days, Riko concentrated on her application for Tama Art. She was able to put in her application just on time. It had been so nerve wrecking and she hardly had any time to spend with her friends. Daichi asked her out to hang out with Koushi and Asahi, but she had turn him down because she wanted to work on her portfolio.

On a Friday afternoon, Wakatoshi found her on her way out of school. He asked if he could give her something. It was back in his dorm. They were on friendlier terms, so she followed him. They talked about some schoolwork. How that Calculus lesson was extra hard.

He explained how he had failed that pop quiz in English. She offered to tutor him. He said he would take up on that offer because he really needed to pass midterms.

At his dorm, he opened his door and she followed him in. Satori wasn’t there. Wakatoshi pulled the bottom drawer of the study table and took out a paper bag. And handed it to her. She took it and looked inside. It was art supplies. Pencils, erasers, sketchbooks and colored pencils. A lot of the stuff she was low on. Then from the closet he took out a portfolio case. Black. Leather.

Riko nearly choked on her own saliva at the sight of it.

“I…never got to give you this for your birthday,” he murmured.

“Wakatoshi…I-I can’t accept that. That’s too much,” her eyes didn’t say that though. She loved it. It was gorgeous and just what she needed.

“Like I said, I already got it before…” he didn’t finish, and he didn’t need to. She knew what he meant. She took the case from him. “Please accept it. Also, as a truce offering. And because I know you’re going to get into that school. You have what it takes.”

Riko looked down to her feet. “That always means so much when it comes from you. Thank you, Wakatoshi. I didn’t get you anything for your birthday. I was so mad at you.”

“May I have that drawing you did of me?” he asked, and she looked up and found out he was much closer. “I’d like to have it.”

She grinned. “Yes. Of course. I’ll…do some finishing touches and give it to you.” Their eyes continued to connect and like two magnets their faces moved close. He leaned down and she moved up to her toes. Their lips met and it was like magic. She dropped her bag of supplies and the portfolio. Her arms went around his neck as the kiss deepened.

His tongue explored her mouth. It quickly turned passionate. Riko released a moan when his large hands went to her ass. She was still in uniform, so she was in her skirt and wearing knee high socks. He easily lifted her off of her feet. Her back met the wall. Her hands went into his hair. When she felt his hard against her, she pulled away from him.

She placed her forehead against his. They were both breathing quickly. She had missed how weightless she felt when he picked her up. 

His eyes were filled with that expression she remembered. The one from before. Like she held the world in her eyes.

“We shouldn’t,” she panted. “We’re at a good place.” He slowly placed her down, but he still blocked her way out. His towering manner always riled her up between the legs.

“Yes, we are. Please accept my gifts. You don’t owe me a thing. Not after what I did,” he cupped her chin with his fingers and moved her head up. “Will you?”

“If you insist,” she smiled.

He took a step back and the fresh air brought her back to reality. Straightened her skirt and got the paper bag and then the portfolio case.

“I’ll have that drawing for you on Monday,” she promised. “See you, Wakatoshi.”

**

A FEW MONTHS EARLIER  
 __

_Was it possible to die from simple touches?_

_Because Wakatoshi’s fingers were grazing her thighs and she felt the trail of fire he was leaving. She was ready. She felt it deep in her soul. The last four months had been wonderful. A dream come true._

_His lips moved against hers swiftly. His passion coming through his kiss. He wasn’t expressive outside of their make out sessions, but when he had his lips on her, he showed her just how much he cared. She felt treasured. Cared for. Loved._

_It was why she felt confident saying the next words. “Toshi,” she pulled back slightly so she could speak, her lips swollen, and their eyes connected, and she knew she wasn’t going to regret it, “I’m ready. I want you.”_

_His green eyes had darkened from their kissing, but now it was almost black. He gulped visibly. “Riko, there’s no rush.”_

_She nodded her head. “I know. But I trust you. I…really like you, Toshi. I want my first to be you.”_

_He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. “I want you to be my first as well. Now and forever. We should use protection.”_

_“Yes, of course. I—uh---brought some in my bag,” she bit her lip. “I’ve known I wanted you to be the first for a while now.” She moved from underneath him and went to his study table where she had placed her bag. She dug into the side pocket and pulled out a condom. She went back to the bunk bed and handed it to him. He took it, but then took her wrist and pulled her back on the bed with him. She giggled at how playful he was being._

_“I want to taste you first,” his deep voice sent shivers down her back. He placed the condom beside her head._

_Even though they’ve never gone to third base, they sure went to second base a lot. She had heard guys didn’t like to go down on girls, but Wakatoshi never gave her that impression. He insisted to go first always. He always took care of her first. Always. But this time, it was different. He peeled off her clothes until she was entirely bare to him._

_Riko thought she would feel self-conscious, but the admiration in his eyes gave her the confidence not to hide. She didn’t have a perfect body. One boob was slightly bigger than the other. She had stretch marks on her hips and he always kissed those. Her tummy wasn’t flat, but he always kissed it on his way down. This time was no exception._

_There was something exciting that he was still dressed. He was just in his school shirt and pants, but she loved the difference. The bed wasn’t big enough for both of them, so he had to go out of the bunk bed and kneel next to it. He gripped her hips and moved her with him. It was a weird angle, but it worked for them. She was really glad Tendou’s family decided to take him away for the week._

_Wakatoshi spread her legs and his eyes sparkled with lust._

_Even though they had done this a few times, she still felt her heart race. He always looked at her like it was the first time. He kissed his way from her knee to her inner thigh. He spread her with his fingers, and he could see her arousal._

_“Mine,” he mumbled as he dove in._

_Riko’s back arched at the contact of his tongue on her clit. He usually teased his way there, but he devoured her animalistically. His eyes closed like he was savoring the tastiest thing in the world. His hums sent vibrations through her body._

_“Toshi!” she cried out. She was not going to last._

_The swipes of his tongue were amazing. Her hands gripped the sheets of his bed. He took her left hand and placed it on his head. She threw her head back as she massaged his scalp as he continued to show her how much he loved it. Eating her._

_His finger delved inside of her. He never went too far in. He had long fingers, so he was always careful._

_Riko called out his name repeatedly. The pressure built at lower stomach and it wound until it broke. Her other hand went to her mouth to keep herself from crying out too loud. The last thing they needed was to be found by a teacher._

_Her thighs nearly crushed his head since his tongue did not stop flicking her clit until she was coming down from her orgasm. She pushed his head away from being too sensitive._

_He lifted his head and she would never grow tired of seeing his chin covered in her juices._

_“Clothes. Off,” she panted between words and gestured to his clothes._

_He smiled and stood up. He licked around his mouth wanting every bit of her. Riko had never seen anything hotter than that. That was until he removed his short. His muscles moved with him and she was so thankful he liked her. That he lusted after her. The one person who seemed only one thing occupied his mind. She had him wrapped around her finger._

_He moved onto his pants and then his boxers._

_She bit her lip as she saw him as bare as she was. She went to move to her knees to return the favor, but he shook his head._

_“I don’t I’ll last. I would like to be inside of you,” he got the condom and then crawled on the bed and hovered her body. He blocked out everything. Like an eclipse until everything she saw was him. He leaned down to kiss her and she knew this kiss was different from the rest. It was gentle and caring. A promise he would do the same to the rest of her body._

_He pulled back to put on the condom. Riko spread her legs as she watched. She never thought she would lose her virginity to the star athlete of the academy. A celebrity in her city. She was glad fate seemed to bring them together every time._

_Wakatoshi finished rolling the condom on and then turned his attention to her. “Please let me know if I’m hurting you too much.”_

_She smiled softly. “Okay.” She loved how much he cared._

_He settled between her legs. His right hand was next to her face to hold himself up and he used his left hand to guide himself to her entrance. She was sure Wakatoshi was bigger than most guys, so she was prepared to feel pain. He started to go in and it was okay at first, but then they both felt it when he reached her hymen. She gasped when he moved forward. It wasn’t as bad as she thought. It had felt like pressure at first and some pain, but then it went away._

_Some movies made it seem to be much worse. Halfway in Wakatoshi stopped._

_“Am I hurting you?” he through gritted teeth._

_Riko had closed her eyes at some point so she opened them and met his. She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. Keep going. Please.”_

_He did and she arched her back as the stretching continued. He brought his left hand to her cheek and then he gripped her chin and held her in place as he moved down to kiss her. His tongue invaded her mouth and his slow strokes of his tongue were just as teasing as his movements where they met. He grunted when he finally moved all the way inside._

_“You feel really good,” he whispered against her lips. “So divine.” He showered her face with gentle pecks and moved down to her neck and shoulders. He concentrated a bit of time on her neck. Hickeys would be the result of it and she was happy about it._

_After a few minutes, there was a growing ache between her legs. “Toshi, move now, please. You’re torturing me.”_

_He chuckled deeply. “That’s the last thing I want to do. You are sure?”_

_“Yes!”_

_He didn’t need another assurance. He pulled back and she whimpered, but then moaned when he moved back inside. Her hands went to his back. She caressed his back and memorized his back muscles. She wished she could see them move as he took her. He set a good pace for both of them. Soon the room was so hot their bodies started to sweat._

_Of course, not everything was perfect. Some of his thrusts were too harsh, but she told him, and he adjusted. Being a smart woman, she knew she wouldn’t be able to get off from just penetration. She had read about that, so she just enjoyed the feeling of being close to Wakatoshi. Of hearing his moans and grunts. She was glad to make him feel good. This was only their first time. She was sure there would be another time._

_“So good,” he sucked on her shoulder and then stifled inside of her. She felt him finish inside of the condom. “Thank you,” he kissed the skin he had just sucked on. “I love you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who has left comments. sorry if the smut isn't top tier. My smut writing is still rusty. Once again thanks for the support from everyone so far :)
> 
> Also, I plan to write a Daichi story because I love him too much.


	8. when you hold me, i'm alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: diamonds by rihanna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I started to read the manga and I noticed my timeline doesn't match up with my story. But this is the beauty of fan fiction that I can do what I want. So if you read the manga, I know it doesn't follow it.
> 
> Other than that enjoy the angst-ish chapter.

“Hello?” Riko answered her phone on her way back home. Her heart was still beating rapidly from the kiss. Wakatoshi still had a hold on her. It had been really hard to walk away from him. It could’ve been so easy to go farther.

“Hey, it’s Daichi,” his sweet voice came through. “Are you on your way home?”

“Yes. I missed the first bus, so I’m running a little behind,” she told him. She placed her cold hand on her face to stopping from being hot.

“I know you’ve been crazy busy, but my school’s festival is coming up in a week and a half. Did you still want to go?”

“Of course. I already said I would. I don’t go back on my word. Plus, it’ll be fun, and I need some fun.”

“Have you gotten a hotel for Tokyo? For the exams?”

“I was going to look up places this weekend. I just need to see how much I have saved. My parents don’t know so I can’t ask them for money.”

“If you need some, let me know.”

“No, Daichi, I could never ask you. This is my responsibility.”

“And I want to help. Just let me know. How was your day?” he asked and the memory of Wakatoshi lifting her off her feet and kissing her deeply played in her head.

“Too long,” she sighed, “and yours?”

“It’s weird. I feel the longer we’re not all back together the harder it’ll be for us to get synched up again,” he released a sigh dejectedly.

“When does Kageyama come back?”

“Soon. Hopefully he has learned a lot and can teach us some new stuff.”

“I’m sure you guys will synch up again. You guys have a special bond. Sports bring people together because it releases endorphins and you guys see each other every single day. It’ll take a few days to adjust, but you’ll find your groove back. Once you’re back on the court. You guys are so amazing. I’ve never seen people think so alike.”

Daichi laughed on the other end. “Feels weird being the one receiving a pep talk. Thank you, I needed that.” He sounded relieved and she was glad she was able to give him that. At least she was useful for one thing.

“It’s the least I could do. And I learned from the very best.”

For the rest of the bus ride, she stayed on the phone with him. She did enjoy his company. At her bus stop, she got off the phone with Daichi and she prepared herself for her thirty-minute walk home. She carried the case portfolio and the supplies one in each hand.

Then she got another call, so she stopped walking, placed her case portfolio between her legs and took out her phone to see who it was. It was her dad.

“Hi, dad,” she answered in English. The awkward tone in her voice was obvious. He rarely called her.

“Hi, sweetie, is this a good time?” he asked, and she could hear her siblings in the background.

 _Is that Riko? Can I talk to her?_ the oldest asked. Robert, but nickname Robby. He had just turned six.

“It’s a good time. I was just on my way home,” she replied.

“Perfect. I just wanted to tell you I’ve bought you your plane ticket.”

Riko flinched at the sound of it. She only got to see her dad twice a year. Once in the summer and then on Christmas. He always made sure she spent Christmas with him since his family made a big deal about it. She did like to talk to her cousins and her aunts and uncles, but she hated staying with her dad and step-mom. She usually stayed the whole month of December since it was her winter break, but she had to attend the exam for Tama Art on December 21-22.

“Oh, I was going to let you know,” she gulped and hoped he wouldn’t catch her lie, “I-I have an entrance exam for a school on the 21st and 22nd in Tokyo.”

“Really? For what university. The Chiba isn’t until January.”

“It’s for a really prestigious school. My counselor recommended I give it a try because of my grades. They have a decent law program,” Riko covered her mouth to keep herself from throwing up. She never lied like this before. It wasn’t in her nature. Especially to her dad.

“Hmm, well, you can still make it to Christmas. You can come right after your entrance exams. Your grandmother would like a word with you.”

As if it couldn’t get worse. Her grandmother from her dad’s side absolutely abhorred her. Riko came from an out of wedlock pregnancy. Even though her father raised her, her grandmother was never kind and warm like the grandmothers in movies. She was critical and harsh, but with Robby and baby Sandy? They were her precious little gems.

“Of course. I can fly out the 23rd. Do you mind if I come back before the New Year? I’d like to spend it with my friends here.”

“Friends? As in boys?”

She nearly scoffed and wondered if he even cared. “All kinds. Boys and girls.” Her tone was a bit sarcastic.

“That’s such a short visit,” her dad commented. “I know! You can come in March before you head off to Chiba.”

“O-of course,” she stuttered. “If that’s what you want…”

“You’re all grown up, Riko. I’ve missed you.”

“Are you dying?” she sputtered out before she could stop herself. Her dad never said those words to her. Not once since she left six years ago.

He laughed whole heartedly. “No, I’m not. It’s just…this is the first time you’re not coming home for a whole month and it got me thinking just how long it’s been since…never mind, sweetie. I’ll change the flight and email you the confirmation. I can’t wait to hear about this prestigious school.”

Riko bit her lip. “Sure. Uh, I should get going. I have to make sure Natsu does her homework and that Shoyo comes home.”

“See you soon, sweetie,” he ended the call first.

She put her phone back into her pocket. She felt like she weighed a million pounds now. She also felt like she was going to get caught. She didn’t particularly lie too much. Just spared some details. For a moment, she believed her dad actually cared. He sounded regretful. That he let her go. That he hardly saw her anymore. He did sound disappointed she wasn’t going to be staying the usual amount of time. But for the life of her, she just couldn’t be around her grandmother and step-mom anymore if she didn’t have to.

Before she knew it, Riko had arrived home. She had been so lost in her thoughts. She kept a smile for her siblings. She got out of her uniform. Her mom was home in the kitchen cooking dinner and she went over to her and hugged her. Her mom was surprised, but then said the words Riko expected.

“Your dad called,” she said.

Riko nodded her head as she hugged her mom. “I told him I didn’t want to spend the whole month of December over there. I asked if I could just stay a couple of days. Just Christmas and then come home.” Because this was her home. Her dad called his home hers, but that had not been her home since he cast her aside.

Her mom patted her head and sighed. “I do hate it when you go for so long. Why are you not going?”

“Because I’ll be off to University soon and I want to spend time with you guys,” she replied.

“That’s sweet of you,” her mom chuckled.

Riko finally pulled back from embrace. “You don’t mind that I stay?”

Her mom’s eyes sparkled. “Of course not. Now supper is ready. Go round up your brother and sister.”

**

Monday in school Riko tried her best to keep thoughts of her dad out of her head. She needed to start practicing what she was going to say. She also thought about what possibly her grandmother could want to talk to her about. Not being the most affectionate woman towards her, Riko could only think her grandmother wanted to scold her about something. 

Her dad was off well. Well her grandmother was rich. She came from old money. They were old-fashioned in their ways. Riko was always reminded that she didn’t belong in that family. Her dad shielded her from her grandmother until Sara—her stepmom—got involved. Then her dad caved in and hardly protected her from their hurtful words.

Half-breed.

Foreigner.

Dirty blood.

“Riko,” someone tapped her desk.

She turned to her right and saw Wakatoshi with concerned eyes.

“Are you well? Do you need to see the nurse?”

She chuckled softly. They were in English class again and watching another American show as part of their lesson.

“No, it’s just some personal stuff.”

“Was it because of the kiss?”

“No. It’s…” her eyes went around to see if anyone was paying attention to their whispers and it seemed no one cared. “My dad. Uh, let’s talk during our break after this class.”

He nodded.

When the class ended, a lot of the students went to get snacks from the cafeteria leaving Riko and Wakatoshi mainly by themselves.

They stood by the window. His body turned towards her. His attention was fully on her. She leaned back against the window and looked up.

“Not sure if I ever told you that Shoyo and I don’t have the same dad,” she started to explain. She told him about her family situation. How she felt abandoned by her dad. How he didn’t really put a fight to keep her. Wakatoshi continued to listen. “I feel like I owe him something. I want him to be proud of me so I’m doing everything he wants me to do. Daichi convinced me that I need to do things for myself. I don’t owe my dad anything. He’s the one who pushed me aside to make room for his new family. I wasn’t good enough to keep around anymore since he had his legitimate children. And I love my brother and sister. Robby and Sandy are so good to me.”

“Have you told him how you feel?” Wakatoshi asked.

She scoffed. “No. I’ve never had the guts to tell him. I don’t think I’ve acknowledged myself exactly how I felt about it until recently. Every December I leave to be with him, but I hate it.” Her eyes burned. “I only go because…I don’t know how to say no to him. But I kind of did this time around. The entrance exam for Tama is in December, so I lied to him…sort of. I told him I was applying to another school because the counselor convinced me to. And now my grandmother wants to talk to me.”

“Your grandmother doesn’t like you?”

“I basically ruined her son’s image. Coming from an out of wedlock pregnancy. Not like I asked to be born,” she crossed her arms across her chest with a pout. “But I also want to please her as well. I was a well-behaved child. I never threw a tantrum. And yet I never felt her…affection. So, I guess I come with a lot of baggage,” she turned to Wakatoshi and wiped away the tears that had come when she spoke.

“You shouldn’t feel ashamed for seeking to pursue your dream. You truly are talented. You should not doubt that you have what it takes to make your dream come true.”

His words were comforting, but she smiled sadly.

“What should I say? I don’t want to continue lying. I plan to tell him when I fly out for Christmas,” she turned to the window and stared at the courtyard. “But…I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

Riko took in a shaky breath. “Of losing him. He’s still my dad. I have good, fun memories with him. I’m afraid of losing any amount of love he still has for me if I choose to disobey him.” It felt oddly good to say it out loud, but it didn’t hurt any less.

“Riko,” Wakatoshi wrapped his arm around her shoulder she rested her head on his shoulder, “your father will love you no matter what. You are his daughter.”

“I’m sorry for burdening you,” she mumbled. “I know it’s not professional.”

“We’re friends. You can burden me all you need,” he rubbed her arm and even though she was wearing the school sweater, she still felt the warmth of him.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “I’m glad we’re friends again.”

He kissed the top of her head. She was well aware friends didn’t do that, but she let it happen. Because his presence was soothing.

Then it hit her.

“I forgot about your drawing,” she pulled back from his embrace. “I’m so sorry, Wakatoshi. I had all weekend to do it, but—”

“Don’t worry about it. You can do it if you want. No pressure,” he placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Just give me another week. I want it to be perfect,” she clapped her hands together. “Please forgive me.”

He chuckled lowly and kissed her forehead. “Nothing to forgive. I can wait.”

Friends definitely didn’t kiss each other’s foreheads but again Riko chose to ignore it because it felt so right and good.

**

Riko decided that it was best to put things aside for now. She planned to live. If her dad turned her dream away, she still planned to pursue it. She started working on the scholarships. She got a hotel for the exams. She just needed to stay for two days and a night. She did have enough money saved up from birthdays and Christmas. 

Daichi sent her a text on a Thursday reminding her that Karasuno’s school festival was on Saturday. He said he could pick her up again. She accepted since she didn’t have a way to go up and down the mountain.

“Daichi?” Satori questioned as he looked over her shoulder.

“Nosy,” she scolded her friend, stuck her tongue out at him, and put her phone away. She was eating with the team, but Wakatoshi was still getting his food. “He’s just a friend.”

Satori shrugged. “You’re allowed to have friends. Why did you need to clarify if he’s just a friend?”

Riko glanced over to Wakatoshi, who was paying for his food. Of course, she couldn’t keep things from Satori. He could read her like a book. “I don’t know what to do. I still like Toshi,” she smiled as he approached them. “But I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” the middle blocker asked.

Riko turned to her friend. “Of…falling harder than before.”

Wakatoshi reached them. He lifted his eyebrow. “Something wrong?”

She shook her head. “No. So, we still studying after school? That English test is coming up.”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“So, half-American,” Satori grinned and raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

She shrugged. “Didn’t seem like it mattered. I was already the scholarship girl. I didn’t need people to know I was half American too.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered to us,” the redhead waved his finger. “We love you, flaws and all.”

She laughed. “Thanks for that. Well, now you know.”


	9. i love everything you do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> training wheels by melanie martinez

Daichi texted Riko that he was outside.

“Whose car is that?” her mom asked as she peeked out the window.

“That’s my friend Sawamura, Daichi,” Riko told her mom as she finished tying her shoes. “I’m going to Karasuno’s school festival.”

Her mom grinned. “A date?”

Riko blushed but didn’t turn to her mother. “Uh—I think so.”

“Oh sweetie, that’s so nice. You’re finally over that ex of yours?”

Riko sharply turned to her mother. “You knew?”

“I’m a woman, Riko,” her mom chuckled. “I saw how sad you went all of a sudden. I’m just glad you’re going back to your old self.”

“Uh, thanks, mom. I’ll see you later.”

Fall was almost ending, but it was a rather warm Saturday. She decided on a light jacket. She got her polaroid camera that she got for Christmas. She wanted to remember this day. After being fully in Japan, she never had friends to go to the school festival with. Her own school festival was coming up, but she didn’t plan to attend. But maybe she would now that she had friends.

Pictures today would be nice. Something to remember.

Riko ran outside and saw Daichi’s car. She got into the passenger seat.

A few days ago, Daichi asked about some music recommendation. She told him about another band she really liked Muse. He started to drive towards Karasuno.

She grinned. “Wow, did you borrow that one from Kei?”

He nodded. “He said you’d like this one.”

“Duh, I told you Muse was one of my favorites. I love this song too ‘Madness’. Matt’s voice is so soothing. I hope to see them in concert one day.”

“You like concerts?”

“Yes! My first one was of Metallica! My dad’s favorite band. How else did you think I got into this music?”

He shrugged. “But that’s pretty cool. You and your dad share something.”

“I mean, he used to go to concerts, but with Sara in the picture, he doesn’t go anymore. Maybe I should buy him a ticket for Christmas. I still haven’t gotten him anything.”

“Let me know if you need help.”

“Of course,” she smiled. “Oh, and I brought a camera today,” she took out her polaroid camera. “I figured since it’s your last school festival in Karasuno you’d want some pictures.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you,” he turned to her. “I would want pictures of today.”

They got to Karasuno and the parking wasn’t so bad since they were still pretty early. They found a parking spot and then got out. They walked together side by side. Their hands grazing each other by how close they were. Neither seemed to mind though.

By the entrance there were a group of people. Riko immediately recognized as Daichi’s teammates and their manager Kiyoko.

“Hey guys,” Daichi greeted his friends. “You remember Riko,” he gestured to her.

“Hello,” she waved her hand and smiled widely.

“Of course, we remember,” Koshi grinned.

“Hi,” Asahi waved at her shyly.

Kiyoko nodded towards her with a small smile. “Hello.”

Riko got an idea. “Hey! How about a picture of the third years by their school entrance?” she took out her camera and pointed to the school sign.

“Whoa, that’s a nice camera,” Asahi pointed out.

The four of them got together around the school sign. Riko looked through the lens to make sure she was able to get everyone. Daichi stood next to Koshi on the right side of the sign and Asahi and Kiyoko got together on the other side. Everyone put up the peace sign and Riko took the picture.

“There,” she approached them as the picture came out at the end. “How we just wait.”

“Are you not supposed to shake it?” Asahi gestured with his hand.

“Ah, that’s a misconception. I blame Outkast for that.”

All four of them game them strange looks.

“You know… ‘shake it, shake it like a polaroid picture’,” she sang. Then she laughed when they still didn’t get it. “It’s…an American song.”

“By the way, has Daichi told you how pretty you look?” Koshi grinned.

Daichi blushed madly. “I was going to tell her!”

Riko chuckled and tried to hide her own embarrassment. She was wearing a light pink skirt with a lavender off the shoulder top. She matched some light pink flatform shoes. She had her hair half up in a small bun. She also had a bit of makeup on. Not that much since she had taken too long on choosing her outfit.

“Thanks guys,” she returned. “You guys look good as well. Asahi, you have really good style.”

Asahi turned red. “Please…don’t do that. You’re taken.”

Riko laughed at how embarrassed he was. He was a big softie.

“Let’s just go,” Daichi muttered.

“I’m dying for cotton candy,” Riko cheered. “Or a candy apple!”

“Going straight to the sweets?” Daichi laughed but followed her. The festival was just starting so there weren’t a lot of people.

Koshi, Asahi and Kiyoko walked behind them.

“It could have been me,” Koshi sighed as he watched the couple. “If only I had the courage to ask for her number. I was just so sad about the game.”

“I think it they’re cute,” Kiyoko commented.

“You approve?” Asahi asked.

“Yes. Daichi is really happy around her. And she’s happy too. She’s really pretty too.”

Daichi could hardly keep his eyes to anything else that wasn’t Riko. She really did look beautiful today. Last time she had looked nice too, but he could see she actually put thought into her outfit. He hoped she got dressed up for him. That would make him happy. He did think about what would happen if they got together. He planned to stay in Miyagi. She was mostly likely going to go to that art school in Tokyo.

Long distance relationships were hard. But he was getting ahead of himself. It had shocked him to know her ex was Ushijima. How was he supposed to compete with him? Ushijima was going to become a great volleyball player, he already was! Even though Daichi loved volleyball he knew well enough he wasn’t good enough to pursue it as a career.

Daichi could see why Riko fell for him. He was confident. Maybe overly confident, but he seemed like a good person anyway. But he did break up with her. Why? He wondered. Riko was also a good person. She sounded so sad when he asked about it.

In the end, Ushijima’s loss was his gain.

Because seeing Riko smile was one of the best things in the world.

“What’s with that face?” she asked as they waited in line to get on the merry go round. Her eyes had sparkled with joy at the sight of it.

Daichi blinked and smiled. “Nothing. Just glad you said yes. When is your school’s festival?”

“Hmm, I think it’s next week. Don’t really pay attention,” she shrugged.

“You don’t go to yours?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No. Never had a reason to.”

“I can go with you…if you want,” he gulped.

Her eyes widened and he could see she was thinking of something. Maybe of someone. Daichi’s shoulders dropped. Was she thinking of Ushijima? Did she want to go with him?

“You know what? It’s my last year. I should definitely go. It’s a date, Daichi!” she declared. “Plus, I want to spend time with friends before I leave to the US.”

“Before you what?” he asked in disbelief.

“I spend Christmas with my dad,” she clarified. “I usually leave the whole month of December.”

Daichi furrowed his eyebrows. He wasn’t going to see her for a whole month.

“But I have the entrance exams for Tama, remember?”

He chuckled. “Oh yeah. So, you’re going right after that?”

She nodded with pursed lips. “Yes. But I’ll be back in time for your birthday.”

His heart skipped a beat. “You remember when it is?”

“Of course,” she said it like it was obvious. “I know Japanese don’t make a big deal about birthdays, but I like to celebrate my friends’ birthdays. So, I’ll be back for your birthday to give you your present.”

The line had moved as they talked and now it was their turn. Daichi handed the person two tickets for them. Riko went straight to the horse.

Riko had a horse growing up. In her grandmother’s estate she had horses. Her father had given her a horse when she was eight. She was taught to ride from a young age. It had been something else she and her father used to do together. She missed riding.

Her time with Daichi was always good. He made her feel very safe. She planned to treasure these times. She did hesitate to agree to go to her own school festival because of Wakatoshi. What if he saw them? Then again it wasn’t like she owed Wakatoshi anything. He was the one who broke it off. But she did know that he still had feelings for her, and she wasn’t far behind him.

Maybe it was a bad idea to have invited Daichi. But she couldn’t uninvite him now. She already agreed to it.

Going on the merry go round was fun. She was glad she wore tight shorts underneath her skirt. It had gone up as she got on the horse. Showing most of her thigh. She didn’t miss how Daichi had looked at it. He had recovered quickly, but she could tell he had looked.

At the end of it, she had a hard time getting off. Daichi placed his hands on her waist and helped her off. Her foot caught on the something and her whole weight went on him. He stumbled backwards with her, but he didn’t drop her. His back hit the other horse that he had been on.

Her chest was pressed to his. Her hands were on his chest. She could feel his heart racing beneath her hands. She met his eyes and she could see it. He liked her. Really liked her. Then she saw that his face was getting closer. He was going to kiss her.

Riko jumped back away from him.

“Uh, sorry about that,” she apologized.

“It’s…okay,” he mumbled as he straightened his clothes. “We should go get that candy apple for you.”

She nodded her head. “Yeah, of course.”

Riko wanted to slap herself. Why did she move away? Daichi was a great guy. He was an amazing listener and she felt like herself with him. So why did it feel like she was cheating? Daichi had said he planned to win her heart, but it was obvious her heart still belonged to someone else.

She needed to be straight with Daichi. She didn’t want to lose him as a friend. She also didn’t want to lead him on. Her feelings for a certain wing spiker were not gone. In fact, they were coming back with a vengeance.

On their way to get the candy apple, they ran into her brother and the other volleyball players. She greeted Kei and thanked him for letting Daichi borrow his CDs. He blushed but turned away like it had been nothing. He said he just did as Daichi asked.

“You excited to have the captain as your brother in law?” Nishinoya teased Shoyo.

“Don’t be silly,” Daichi chuckled, but Riko could see he was pissed at Nishinoya. “Don’t say things like that. Riko and I are just friends.”

Nishinoya’s face turned white in fright. “O-of course. Sorry,” he bowed and hid behind Shoyo.

It was getting colder, so Riko took out her light sweater from her bag. It still didn’t help since the nights had turned colder. But she didn’t want to carry a heavy jacket. She’ll just have to suffer.

But then she felt something heavy around her shoulders. She turned to her right and saw Daichi without his jacket. He had placed it around her shoulders. Her eyes softened at the sight of it. It smelled so much like him.

“Do you want some hot tea?” he asked.

“Sure,” she agreed, and they got some and they found a table to sit at.

“We don’t have to go to your school festival, you know,” Daichi stared down at his drink, but didn’t meet her eyes as he continued. “You still have strong feelings for Ushijima.”

Her mouth opened to protest, but she couldn’t deny it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Look, I still want to be your friend, Riko. I am sad about it, but you’re an amazing person who deserves love.”

Riko’s eyes watered. “Daichi…I treasure our friendship dearly. You’ve become someone very important in my life in a short amount of time. But yes, I still have feelings for Ushijima. I honestly don’t get it. He hurt me. Really deeply, but I know he’s sorry.”

“You want to give him a second chance. That’s okay,” Daichi smiled warmly.

“Thank you for understanding. I’m not sure what is going to happen with Ushijima, but I don’t want to lead you on neither.”

“That’s okay. I’ll always be here for you.”

[Riko's Outfit](https://shoplook.io/outfit-preview/1799135)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it broke my heart to break Daichi's but I'm writing a story just for him. This was supposed to be an Ushijima one but Daichi just sneaked his way in. haha. thanks to everyone who has read, commented and left kudos!


	10. i can't wait to see tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: with you by linking park

“Wakatoshi,” Riko got off the bus Monday morning and her heart skipped a beat at the sight of the ace at her bus stop. She had planned to find him to finally give him the gift he had asked for. She finished the drawing last night. She even sprayed it to make sure it wouldn’t smudge. She got a frame for it as well.

She even got a birthday bag and she had it with her. A part of her was still unsure of her work.

“Riko,” he smiled down at her.

There it was. The change. The air around them was different. They looked at each other differently.

Her hands became sweatier and her heart raced. It felt like before. Before their misunderstanding. 

“May I walk you to school?” he broke the trance that she was in.

She placed her bag behind her and nodded. He stood next to her quietly. More so than he usually is. She sensed he had something to say. After being with him for a while, she could tell when he wanted to tell her something. 

“Is something on your mind?” she asked.

“We have known each other for a long time,” he stated. “I think I have liked you since the first year.”

Riko’s ears burned. “Really? We didn’t really talk that year until halfway through for our science project. I don’t think you thought I existed until then.”

“I saw you when you first arrived at campus. You weren’t in the dorms, so you stood out,” he continued as they walked. “Then I found out you lived far away, and you took public transport to get here every day. I admired you. You also talked to me like it was nothing. You didn’t know who I was, and you just talked to me.”

“Well, it helped you talked back to me. You never pointed out about how I was on a scholarship or that I’m still wearing my uniform from the first year even though it’s a little tight around the chest now,” she chuckled. “I did wonder why girls looked at me funny for just talking to you. I didn’t know you were celebrity at such a young age.”

“You have a good heart. You have never judged someone for their looks. Satori has told me how much it meant to him that you’re not scared of him. A lot of girls apparently are terrified of him because of how he looks like.”

Riko rolled her eyes. “Satori has always shown me kindness as well. Not that I’m not loving the trip down memory lane, but where are you going with this? It’s nice to know I caught your attention on the first day. It took me a while to know whether you liked my company or not.”

“I always enjoyed it. It took me a long time to figure out what I was feeling. I never had room besides for volleyball and then you came along. I thought you would just be a friend, but you wouldn’t stop occupying my thoughts. Then you started coming to our practices and I liked it. Really liked it. What I’m trying to say is that I’m stupid for thinking badly of you. After what you’ve told me of your father. How he has made you feel…I can see why me ignoring you made you feel like I had abandoned you too.”

Riko gulped. How could people think Wakatoshi wasn’t aware of other people? Because it didn’t take him long to figure out exactly what was wrong with her. She had stopped walking and he turned to face her and placed his arms around her. Engulfing her in a warm embrace.

“I am so sorry I ever made you feel like that,” he said against her hair. “You are worthy of love, Riko.”

It was those words that broke the dam. Her arms went around him as she cried against his chest.

“I will never be sorry enough that I did that,” he tightened his arms around her. “Please forgive me again.”

Riko placed her forehead against his chest. “You didn’t know. I get that. I forgive you.”

They stayed together like that for a while. Until her heart returned to semi-normal pace. She pulled back from him and he wiped away her tears. She sniffled but smiled.

“I have your birthday gift,” she held out the gift bag to him. He took it and pulled out the frame and gave her one of his best smiles. The one that was real and genuine. It made him more beautiful. “I’m sorry it’s late. I went to Karasuno’s festival on Saturday with the third years, but I finished it yesterday.”

“Our school festival is coming up,” he commented as he placed the frame back inside of the bag. “You’ve never gone. Why?”

She shrugged. “Never had anyone to go with. You and I were friends, but not that close of friends. And you were kind of my only friend for the first two years here.”

“Will you go with me?”

Her eyes shifted up to meet his. “Yes. I’d love to. With you.”

“It’s a date,” he nodded.

Riko had a hard time keeping herself from grinning. “Yes.”

“I’ll pick you up. I’d like to meet your mom.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh…that means Shoyo is going to find out.”

“Do you not want him to know? Are you embarrassed of me?”

“What?! No! I mean…you were not his favorite person for a while.”

“I can talk to him. I don’t want it to be like before. I think you felt like I was hiding you, but I felt it best to protect you from the bullies.”

Riko chuckled. “You’re very receptive. I did think you were hiding me but thinking back the girls would have torn me apart for dating you and I wasn’t as strong back then. Now, I couldn’t care less.”

“Are…we dating again? You are not talking to Samuwara anymore?”

She bit her lip. “I told him how I felt about you. He understood. I didn’t want to lead him on when I knew where my heart was all along.”

“I don’t deserve you, Riko,” he took her hands. “I promise to never jump to conclusions. I promise to remind you how I feel every single day. I don’t want to be without you again…or for as long as you’ll have me.”

She felt like she was dreaming. This had to be a dream, right? Things like this didn’t happen to girls like her. She always got the short end of the stick in life. How did she get so lucky to have the heart of someone like him? He was saying all of the right things.

“You’re okay with me being me?” she chuckled. “The half-American artists who plans to against her family’s wish?”

“I’d take you in any way shape or form,” he squeezed her hands. His eyes held the truth of his words. “Riko, I’ve known you were meant to be more than a lawyer. I didn’t see the passion in your eyes when you told me. But when I saw you draw and saw your work? I knew you are meant to do whatever you want with it.”

Riko embraced the tall ace again. His encouragement was comforting. She needed to hear those words. Because she had a feeling once she told her dad and her grandmother, they didn’t plan to help her out.

“You’ll go to Tama Art. I’ll join a league and we will find an apartment together in Tokyo that way the bills are not as heavy,” he rubbed her back.

“You’ve given this a lot of thought.”

“Yes. I want to be with you.”

“And I want to be with you,” she squeezed him even though she knew her arms did nothing to hurt him. Did she dare to dream? Living with Wakatoshi after high school? As a couple? Oh God, what would her parents think? She didn’t care at the moment though. She wanted to live for a little bit.

**

The day before the festival Riko texted Wakatoshi that she planned to talk to Shoyo tonight.

“Dinner’s ready,” Natsu announced.

Riko got up from her bed and headed to the dining room. The table was filled with food. Shoyo was sitting down his volleyball next to him. She smiled at the sight of it. She got that for him when he was twelve years old. Because he wouldn’t shut up about needing one. She brought it back from the States.

She took her seat next to him. Their mother to Riko’s right.

“Uh, can I say something before we start?” she asked her family.

Shoyo groaned. “I’m starving though!”

“It’ll just be a moment,” she told him. “My school’s festival is tomorrow. I—uh—someone is going to be picking me up. He wants to meet you, mom,” Riko told her mom.

Her mom smiled softly. “Oh, who is this mysterious person.”

“It’s the captain of my volleyball team,” Shoyo muttered with crossed arms across his chest.

Riko cleared her throat. “Actually…he and I are just friends. It’s actually…Ushijima, Wakatoshi.”

“WHAT?!” Shoyo jumped up to his feet.

“Shoyo, sit down,” their mom ordered. Her mom turned to her with a softer expression. “Is this the guy you were dating before?”

“BEFORE?!” Shoyo shouted again in agony.

Riko turned to her mom in embarrassment. “Yes. He and I cleared things up and…we are trying again.” She turned to her little brother. “I lied when I said I didn’t know him, Sho. I didn’t want to complicate things. He and I were not on speaking terms until your match.”

“You do not have to tell us,” her mom patted her hand. “I will meet him. Have you told your father?”

Riko shook her head. “No. Oh… and… I don’t want to be a lawyer.”

There was a long silence at the table. Riko had closed her eyes unable to meet her family’s eyes. So she continued with her eyes closed.

“I want to be an artist. I plan to attend Tama Art and even though it’s a private school and it’ll take every cent I own…I want to go!”

“Sweetie,” her mom’s tone was so soft and sweet that Riko had to open her eyes.

“Is this truly want you want?” the seriousness in her tone made Riko choke a bit but she nodded her head furiously.

“More than anything.”

“Then you have my support,” her mom grinned. “I never pushed you to question it because you said you wanted to be a lawyer. But I know you’re talented. You always were…as a child. You loved to paint and draw all of the time. You’d send me paintings from the States,” her mom’s eyes filled with tears. “I’d miss you so terribly that I’d sleep with them.”

Riko never knew that. Her mom never talked about her upbringing It was always something they avoided to talk about.

“Mom,” Riko whimpered and moved across the table to hug her mom. “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetie. I will do what I can to help you achieve your dream.”

After dinner, Riko went to see Shoyo in his room, but it was empty. She knew where he was, so she went to their backyard.

He was doing his practice with the ball.

She cleared her throat to get his attention. He grabbed the ball and turned to her. She could see he was still upset. She didn’t want Shoyo to be mad at her, but she had it coming.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you were with Ushijima?” he muttered. “You didn’t have to lie…you’ve never lied to me.”

Riko sat on the porch and patted the seat next to her. Reluctantly he went to sit next to her.

“What I’m going to tell you…you best not repeat to anyone. Only Saeko knows.”

Shoyo frowned. “What is it?”

“Wakatoshi—”

“Ew, you’re on first name basis?”

She chuckled. “Yes. He and I got close at the end of second year. We were together for a few months. But, when he found out you and I were brother and sister, he thought I was a spy. So, he broke things off.”

“I knew you were sad, but I just thought it was stuff with your dad,” he mumbled as he rolled the ball between his hands. “Wait! That jerk! He really thought so lowly of you?!” he shook his fist in the air. Then his eyes widened like a light bulb had turned on. “He’s the one who told you I went to the camp.”

She nodded her head. “Yes.”

“That…that…snatch!”

Riko laughed until her stomach hurt. “I think you mean snitch. Sho,” she did her best to stop laughing because she wanted to have a serious conversation. “He and I have cleared things up. Trust me when I gave him a piece of my mind when he told me about it. He and I talked before the match. I was so upset, but even that couldn’t stop me from enjoying seeing you play.” She ruffled his hair.

Shoyo huffed. “You could do better. I like Daichi.”

Riko sighed. “I did too. He was a good friend when I truly needed one, but the heart wants what it wants.”

“If Ushijima steps one toe out of line again…I’ll…I’ll…kick him in the back of the knee!”

She smiled at Shoyo. “Thank you for being so protective. It’s a new side to you.”

“Riko, I’m glad you’re chasing your dream as well,” his eyes sparkled. “I’ve never seen you so determined than when you told mom. I bet you are going to be the biggest artist ever!”

She giggled. “Thank you, little brother. It’s good to know someone like you supports me. Actually, you’re part of the reason I want to do it.” She turned her eyes to the night sky. It was a new moon tonight, so it felt right her life was starting anew. “Seeing the passion in your eyes when you played, it inspired me because I knew I didn’t have that look when I even think about becoming a lawyer.” She turned back to him. “Thank you.”

Shoyo turned red. “Thanks, big sis.”

**

Saturday morning Riko woke up happy. A feeling she had not felt in a long time. Life was looking up. Her mother supported her dream. Her brother knew about Wakatoshi. No more lies. No more secrets. Sure, she still had to deal with her dad, but she had more confidence now. She wasn’t alone anymore.

After a shower, she began to get ready. It was getting colder, but she really wanted to wear a dress. She’ll just have to wear a thicker jacket.

With her music playing, she got ready.

She sang along with several songs and at the end she got a text from Wakatoshi.

_Ten minutes away. See you soon._

Her heart leapt in joy. She left her room and told her mom about Wakatoshi being close by. She went to tell Shoyo and he just grumbled a response.

Ten minutes later exactly, there were knocks on her door. Her mom answered the door. Wakatoshi held a bouquet of flowers and a small box in the other. They greeted each other. He stepped inside and took off his shoes. He gave her mom the bouquet of flowers. It was a mixture of different ones.

Riko sat next to Wakatoshi across from her mom and brother. Natsu was at the head of the table ogling at Wakatoshi.

“How tall are you?” she asked.

Wakatoshi turned to her. “6’2.”

Natsu’s eyes widened. “You’re a giant.” She whispered.

Riko giggled. “Don’t be so nosy.”

“So, you plan to pursue volleyball after high school?” her mom asked.

The tall ace nodded his head. “Yes, ma’am. I have a few teams I’m interested in. Strong players and good coaches.”

“What about school? Do you not plan to have a higher education?”

Riko cleared her throat and gave her mother a look.

“Volleyball is what I know. I can always go back to school, but I’d like to go as far as I can with volleyball.”

Shoyo huffed from his spot. “Do you think you’re good enough for my sister?”

Their eyes met and Riko saw the tension between them. Much like it had been at the game.

“I will provide for your sister the best I can. There is also sponsors that I have in line after we graduate.”

“You seem like a very determined young man,” Riko’s mom smiled. “You have a path and you know what you want. Do you support my daughter in her goals?”

“He’s the one who suggested Tama Art school,” Riko jumped in and smiled to Wakatoshi. “It’s like he knew exactly what I was looking for.”

“Well, we won’t hold you much longer,” her mom clapped her hands. “My Riko is in good hands. Just bring her home safe and sound.”

“Of course,” the ace bowed his head.

The couple got up together and walked to the foyer. Riko put her shoes on and hugged her mom. They left the house together and she released a loud sigh.

“That didn’t go as bad as I thought,” she told him as they walked to his car. It was bigger than Daichi’s, but it made sense since Wakatoshi’s family had a bit of money.

“You look really beautiful, Riko,” he complimented and took her hand, so she turned to him. “I am going to have the most beautiful girl by my side today.”

Riko was wearing an off the shoulder floral minidress. It reached her just over her knees. She paired with a thicker crème colored crop denim jacket and plain white platform shoes. She spent the extra time on her hair and her makeup. She kept her makeup neutral but had a bold red lip. Matte that was not supposed to move.

He opened the car door for her and then went around the car and got inside. She would never get over getting compliments from Wakatoshi. He rarely gave them out, so she knew they were special.

“Oh, I forgot to give you this,” he reached into his pocket. It was the small gift he had earlier. She got it and then opened it. She removed the wrapping and it was a velvet box. She opened it and it was papers folded. She raised an eyebrow at him and took out the folded paper and started to unfold it.

When she opened it and she saw what it was, all air left her lungs.

“Is…this…what I think it is?” she whispered, and her hands started to shake, and tears blurred her vision. “Did you get tickets to see Linkin Park?”

He nodded his head. “Satori mentioned they were coming to Tokyo. It’s right before your exams, so I thought we could go…together.”

“Ho-how did you get tickets?”

“Satori’s family has connections,” he mentioned casually. “I know they’re one of your favorite bands. You listen to them often. Very often.”

“Wakatoshi…I don’t know what to say,” she sniffled. “I’ve always wanted to see them. Let me pay for half.”

He shook his head. “No. It is a gift.”

“What? You’ve already given me art supplies and a portfolio case! A leather one! If this is how you wish to apologize for the misunderstanding, I’ve forgiven you. You don’t need to spend money on me.”

Wakatoshi turned on the car. “It has nothing to do with that. I just want you to be happy. Seeing the look on your face was amazing to me. You always supported me with volleyball. I want to support you and make you happy. Please, it makes me happy to see you happy.”

Riko didn’t know what to say. She was very thankful.

“You don’t mind my music or art?” she asked.

“Of course not. It is a part of who you are, and I really like who you are.”

She grinned. “You can be really romantic, you know.”

**

It was no surprise that her school had a big festival. It might as well be a city fair. Like the ones in the States. The OC fair was something she liked to go to every year. She and her dad would spend the whole day together. Eating and getting on rides. Then they’d see the bands that would play. Her dad was a fan of the 80’s hair bands, so when Cinderella played, he enjoyed it.

Riko was glad she came and with someone special to her. They started the fair by playing some of the games. There was a ring toss that she was really good at. She won a bear and she gave it to Wakatoshi. It was pink and had a heart on its stomach. He took it and carried it with him without any shame. 

There was a booth where they could choose costume props and take pictures. He refused to put on something that someone else had touched.

“Are you a germaphobe?” she teased as she put on a cowboy hat.

“You have no idea how many people have touched that. I can’t afford to get sick,” he picked up a sign that was the peace sign in emoji. “I can do this.”

She laughed. “All right, Mr. Germs, off we go then,” she pushed him inside of the booth. They took several pictures. He loosened up inside and actually did funny faces. She said to frown, and he did. At the end, she got the pictures and she loved to see him so off guard.

She saw the stares of their school mates. The cheerleaders had their mouths hanging. Wakatoshi held her hand tightly as they walked through the fair. Coming together was line an unofficial announcement that they were together. By the end of the day the entire school would know they were a couple.

The sun was out, but the wind was cold. She was really glad she got the ticker jacket, but her legs were not saved.

“Oh! A Ferris wheel!” she squealed. How did she miss that? She loved the Ferriss wheel. She liked to feel tall. “Are you up for it, Toshi?” she squeezed his hand.

He nodded. “Sure.”

They got more tickets so they could get one and then waited in line. Riko shivered as a gust of wind hit them. It was coming from behind her, but then she felt someone behind her. She looked over her shoulder and then up to see Wakatoshi. He was shielding her from the wind.

“Riko! Toshi!” A familiar voice called out.

The middle blocker waved his hand as he approached them. Goshiki and Semi behind him.

“Glad you guys made it,” Goshiki grinned. “Riko, you look very nice.”

Riko grinned. “Thank you. And Satori…thanks for what you did.”

He got it right away and waved his hand dismissively. “I’m going too, so expect to have company. You guys have to come to the café. They have karaoke inside! You’re singing, Toshi.”

“Toshi sings?” she asked surprised.

“Oh yeah,” the middle blocker nodded his head. “You too, Riko.”

She groaned. “I am not a good singer. I love music, but I know I’m horrible.”

“Doesn’t matter. You gotta do it.” The redhead refused to take no for an answer.

The line moved and now it was the couple’s turn. They said goodbye and then Wakatoshi and Riko got into the cart. It was a good thing she was tiny because he took a lot of the space. It moved so it could let the next couple on. It swung and she loved the feeling in her stomach. Only a few more people got on before it started to move.

Riko laughed and put her hands in the air. It wasn’t moving fast or anything, but she loved it. It stopped for them at the top and she could see the entire school festival.

“So, this is how you tall people see the world,” she joked and turned to Wakatoshi who had been looking at her already. His eyes burned into her. All joking was gone, and he was very serious.

“You are a sight to behold,” he picked her chin and moved close to her face. “Riko, will you be my girlfriend?”

“You’ve met my mom, so it’s been official,” she murmured but she loved that he asked. Their lips met and her stomach dropped as if she was on a roller coaster. That drop that made her feel like she was floating. That was how she felt with the kiss. His tongue asked for entranced and she allowed it.

His taste was so familiar and yet new. He tasted like the cotton candy they had earlier. Her hand went to his cheek and she caressed him as he deepened the kiss.

They separated to breathe.

“Thank you for the second chance,” he said against her lips panting. “I promise not to hurt you again.” He rested his forehead against hers. She believed him.

The Ferris wheel went around a couple of more times and then it was time for them to get off. Riko felt like a girl from a romantic movie. As Satori suggested, they went to the café where there was karaoke going on. The volleyball team already had a table for them. The redhead said he signed them up to sing a duet together.

“Can I know at least what song?” Riko asked.

“Nope, it’s a surprise,” Satori laughed.

A few people went up and then their names were called. Wakatoshi and she went up and got the microphones.

Riko saw which song it was when it came on the screen and laughed. It was ‘(I’ve had) The Time of My Life’ from Dirty Dancing.

“Do you know it?” she asked Wakatoshi and he merely nodded. He continued to surprise her.

He started to sing, and she thought she couldn’t fall more in love, but he had a really good singing voice. She almost missed her part because she was in awe of him. He was really into it and she was too. She didn’t care that she was off key and couldn’t hold a note. She was just enjoying the moment with him.

_“Because I’ve had the time of my life. I never felt his way before. Yes, I swear. It’s the truth and I owe it all to you cause I had the time of my life!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Riko's Outfit](https://vrfzy3otof.execute-api.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/image/outfits/a22c4e29-80d1-4af7-834c-e832b366d8d3.png)
> 
> The next chapter there will be smut. I haven't written it yet and I'm procrastinating because...well, it's hard. Can't believe I used to write it so easily and now I can't even write a single scene. Anyways, here is to hoping I actually write it.


	11. insatiable's my name, when it comes to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: insatiable by prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: smut in this chapter. Is it good? I hope so!

It was a week before Riko had to go to Tokyo. She had been working excessively on her art. Her room was filled with art supplies. Scattered colored pencils. Paint brushes. Paint. She even took over the living room area. She was just making as much art as she could. She planned to choose certain artwork very carefully. She wanted to tell a story with them. There was one that was of Karasuno. A crow flying high with a clipped wing. It was something she was really proud of.

Wakatoshi told her that he got them a hotel room for the night for the concert. They had to leave early on the 19th since the concert was on the 20th.

Riko had to tell her mom and it was obvious that her mom suspected the couple were… active. Her mom gave her the speech about the birds and the bees. Riko nearly died of embarrassment. Her mom just encouraged her to use protection because she was too young to have children. Riko assured her mom that she was a responsible teenager. The subject was dropped and changed quickly.

Riko didn’t want to assume something was going to happen, but she had a feeling something was.

Winter break started mid-December, so she didn’t get to see Wakatoshi. It was only going to be for four days, but he called every night and every morning. He would text her and asked how her day was going. She would send him pictures of work in progress and he’d give his honest opinion. He sure had an eye for art.

The night before she was living to Tokyo Shoyo knocked on her door.

Riko closed her suitcase and zipped it up. She was packing heavily since she was going straight to the States right after the exams were over. Wakatoshi was going to keep a small suitcase of her stuff she wouldn’t be able to take after the exams.

“So, you’re leaving to your dad’s right after?” he asked as if she hadn’t already told him.

“Yup. You okay?”

He shrugged. “It was nice to see you happy. And…every time you go visit your dad, you come back really sad.”

Riko’s eyes widened. She didn’t know he noticed. But he was right. Every time she went back, it was a reminder that she didn’t fit into her dad’s life anymore. Now it was about Robby and Sandy. And she loved her brother and sister, but she also felt so jealous of the attention they got.

“Well, before I didn’t have so many people with me,” she hugged her little brother. “I have you, Natsu, mom and Wakatoshi. Not to mention Satori, Daichi and so many more.”

“You were lonely?” he hugged her tightly.

“I felt lonely. I was never alone. I just chose to push people away like you and people who tried to be my friend. But now I know I don’t have to be like that.”

Shoyo pulled back from her. “I’m sorry if I haven’t been a good brother. I’ve been so focused on volleyball—”

“And that’s perfectly all right. You have to live your life, Sho,” she placed her hand on his shoulder. “Look, I may not know anything about volleyball, but I know it’s going to be in your life forever. Because the happiness I saw in your eyes when you played, it gave me chills.”

“You mean it?” he blushed.

She nodded her head. “You’re something else, Sho. And even Wakatoshi knows that.”

His eyes sparkled. “Ushiwaka talks about me?”

She laughed. “You scare him, Sho. I know that. You scare him because he didn’t understand that sometimes a person has to make their own path when there isn’t one. He knows better now.”

“I’m kind of warming up to him now,” he grinned. “I still wanted Daichi, but you could do worse.”

She giggled. “You said that about Wakatoshi. But thanks. I promise not to come back sad, okay?”

**

The night before she was leaving to Tokyo, Riko spent it deciding the last bit of work to add to her portfolio. She doubled checked her emails to make sure she was signed up. She placed everything by her entrance door since Wakatoshi was going to arrive early to get her.

Her phone lit up letting her know she had a text message. She flipped open her phone and saw that it was from Daichi.

_Shoyo mentioned you were leaving in the morning. Have a safe trip._

She smiled when she finished. They still talked to each other. Just not as often. She was very grateful she had him as a friend. Whoever married Daichi was going to be a lucky person. She replied to him thanking him for thinking of her.

Her boyfriend sent her a text reminding her to go to bed. She grinned at the sight of it. He was thinking of her. She sent back saying that she was close to finishing up and she would go to bed soon. She did finish getting everything together and then she went to bed. She tossed and turned but couldn’t find any sleep. So she took out her sketchbook and started to draw.

Sometime around three in the morning she did finally go to sleep.

Wakatoshi picked up Riko early in the morning. Her mom was up and gave her a tight hug. Natsu hugged her big sister and gave her a peck on the cheek. Shoyo also hugged her and then they waved her goodbye. Her boyfriend put her things in the trunk of the car and then they were on their way.

“We have to pick up Satori at his place, is that okay?” he asked.

She nodded and yawned. “Yeah, just wake me up when we get to his place.”

One hour later they were outside of Satori’s home. It was a really big house. He was really loud and excited. He got into the back seat. Wakatoshi began to drive again and this time they were going to continue until they got to Tokyo.

“Let’s put some music,” Satori reached for the aux cord and he connected it to his phone. He started to play some JPop. 

Riko liked most of the songs that played. She asked if he could play some KPop. Satori happily obliged.

“You know…I’m so happy you guys worked things out,” the middle blocker said from the back. He had a smile on his face. “I’ve always shipped you both.”

Riko laughed. “Shipped? Honestly?”

“Yes! Wakatoshi had never looked at a girl before. Until you came along.”

“I noticed her right away,” Wakatoshi stepped in.

“Apparently on my first day he saw me and basically fell in love,” she teased her boyfriend whose cheeks had gotten pink proving her right.

“I was a little skeptical when you became friends with Karasuno’s captain.”

She sighed. “Daichi is a good friend, actually. He helped me a lot. I don’t regret befriending him.”

“No one said that but I for sure thought he was going to steal you from Toshi,” the redhead said with a pout.

“I wouldn’t have let it happen,” the ace’s tone was fierce.

Riko liked that Wakatoshi was just a bit jealous. She used to get jealous after the breakup when she saw girls give him love confession letters. He turned them down. She was sure one day she was going to see him with someone else and that was going to break her. But it never happened.

Hours later they reached Tokyo.

The hotel they were staying at was much better than the one she was going to stay after, but she didn’t think too much about it.

Wakatoshi checked them in. Satori got the room next to them. So, Riko and Wakatoshi were going to have a room to themselves. They agreed that they should rest for a couple of hours and then head out into the city to get something to eat for dinner. Satori told them to try to keep it as quiet as possible since he planned to actually rest.

Riko failed miserably at not blushing at his words. She did shove him and told him to mind his own business.

Wakatoshi opened the door for them and he held it open for her as she walked in. The room was spacious, but it was mostly taken by the King bed in the middle of it. Her eyes went to the window and gasped. It was a floor to ceiling window. It was the day, so she could see clearly through it, but she guessed they were tinted windows.

She placed her bags down. Her portfolio was in the car’s trunk where it would be safe. She went over to window and she realized just how high they were. She placed her hands on the glass and tried to look down but couldn’t see the street.

“Wow,” she giggled. “We are so high up!”

“You should rest,” Wakatoshi came up behind her and her entire body shivered because she felt his chest on her behind her. He was so much taller than her and when he got this close, she was reminded he was a whole foot taller than her. It made her core quiver as well.

“You’re the one who drove the whole way,” she turned around only to continue to be trapped by him. “I don’t think you’re used to being trapped in a car for so long.” He took her chin with his fingers and smiled down at her.

“I like that you worry about me,” he dipped down and connected their lips. She sighed lovingly because she missed him. He bent down to kiss her, so she was able to wrap her arms around his neck. His hands went to her hips and down her legs to the back of her thighs and he easily picked her up. Her legs moved around his waist. Her back pressed against the glass

Riko’s fingers went through his short hair and her nails massaged his scalp. He loved it when she did that. It made him harder. She could feel it between her legs. He tore away from her.

“You should really rest.”

“Cuddle with me,” she insisted. “I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Seems I have no choice,” he chuckled and moved them across the room to the bed.

“Not when it comes to cuddles,” she grinned.

He placed her on the bed, kissed her deeply, and then removed her shoes and socks. She had been so caught up in the room, she forgot to remove them. She liked that he helped her. He told her to lie down. She moved up the bed and rested her head on the soft pillows.

He moved around the room, turned the lights off and then joined her on the bed. He took out his phone and set a timer. An hour of sleep should be enough. They would have to shower and change for dinner. He moved behind her and made sure there was no space between them.

Riko felt so peaceful that was so easy to doze off.

**

“Wake up,” Wakatoshi’s deep voice whispered in her ear.

Riko groaned and shook her head. “No, five more minutes,” she mumbled into something hard.

“And if I go down on you…will you wake up?”

Riko’s eyes popped open. She had gone from being hugged by Wakatoshi to having almost all of her limbs around him. She had buried her face in his chest.

“You are awake then,” he chuckled and moved her, so she was on the bed now. He detangled her from him.

“Since when are you so bold with your words?” she pouted. “Did you mean it?”

The ace sat up on his knees and removed his shirt.

“H-holy shit,” Riko’s mouth was so dry and it wasn’t from the nap. She would never grow tired from seeing his body.

He started to remove her pants. She helped by lifting her hips from the bed. He threw them aside and she removed her own shirt. She quickly removed her bra and shivered because of how heated his eyes got at the sight of them. He wasted no time and attached his mouth to her nipple.

She cried out and arched her back. This was a familiar feeling, but also new at the same time. His name escaped her lips in moans or gasps. Wakatoshi knew her body, but he was also doing new things. Riko closed her eyes and reveled in the sensations. She blocked out everything else melting the rest of the world until only the two of them remained.

“I’ve missed touching you, kissing you and feeling you,” Wakatoshi said against her flesh. “The memories of your sounds and taste haunted me.”

Riko whined as she heard him and she wished she could form words, but when she saw he was moving down her body all the way to between her legs, she was speechless. He spread her legs farther apart. His large palms caressed her legs and moved to her inner thighs. He massaged her there.

“Oh…please…” she pleaded to her boyfriend.

“The real thing never compares to what I remember,” his eyes flickered up to her. “Tell me…what you want.”

“Taste me, Toshi,” the words left her lips with a groan.

He dove in and she wasn’t able to stop her little scream. She covered her mouth because Satori was next to them and she wasn’t sure how thick the walls were. But every swipe of his tongue against her clit set her on fire. She was sure she was a wet mess and she could hear him slurp her juices.

He used his hands to keep her legs apart. Her thighs quivered when she tried to close them and felt the pressure of his hands preventing her. Her hands went into his hair, arched her back and urged him to continue. He went to her entrance and used his tongue to taste the inside of her.

Riko began to sweat across her forehead. A ball of pressure began to build in her stomach. Or that’s how it felt like. Her breathing quickened and her muscles tightened as pleasure coursed through her body. She screams his name and she holds her breast as the pleasure seems endless. He flicks his tongue on her clit furiously until she stops moving.

She pushed at his head because she was sensitive now and every swipe of his tongue made her tremble.

“I’m not done,” he said against her core. He pushed her hands away. “Touch your breasts,” he commanded.

The order was something new. Before they were both new to sex, so they just did whatever felt right. She liked that he told her to do something. So her hands went to her breasts and she kneaded them. Pulled on her nipples as she watched Wakatoshi lick her clean. He also needed to prep her for him. He was aware he wasn’t an average size. Being around his teammates in the locker room he knew he was bigger than most. He started with one finger and he nearly came at the velvet feel of her walls. He added a second finger and then a third. He was careful to avoid her clit, but she still shivered and moaned in pleasure. He remained between her legs until she wasn’t so much of a mess.

He moved up to kiss her stomach.

“Did you…” she wanted to ask. She needed to know. His eyes went to hers and she could see he was an open book. She could ask. “Were you with anyone else? It’s okay if you were, I’d just like to—”

“There is only you,” he continued to move up her body. He replaced her hands on her chest. “Did you and—”

“No, not even a kiss,” she clarified right away.

He smiled. “It looks as though we both couldn’t be with other people. Semi did set me up on a blind double date.”

Riko frowned and he laughed lightly.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous,” he placed his hands on either side of her head. He leaned down and he settled between her legs. She almost forgot why she was mad when she felt him against her. “Don’t worry. Nothing happened. She was a nice girl, but there’s only one of you.” He kept himself up with one hand, reached for his pants, took out his wallet and pulled out a condom. He turned back to her and caressed her face with the back of his fingers with the other. “We’ll never be apart again.” His hand left her face to place the condom on, then lined himself up at her entrance.

He pushed inside of her and even though he prepped her it was still a struggle to get inside of her. Riko had forgotten the hot pain of his cock going inside of her. Her hands went to his back and she held on. He went slowly and praised her as he continued.

“Wakatoshi,” she mewled, and his lips crashed on hers.

In the kiss, she could sense he barely had any control. He wanted to take her. He wanted to ravage her. And she wanted that too.

“Toshi, please…take me…I’m yours,” she panted and that was all he needed. He snapped his hips and then he was entirely inside of her.

Tears formed at the corner of her eyes, but it was mixed with ecstasy.

“Riko, fuck!” he buried his face in the crook of her neck. He panted as he thrust in and out of her. “You feel so damn good. I love you. Love you so much,” he bit her shoulder and that seemed all she needed to come a second time.

It had been unexpected, so it stole her breath away. She was sure she was screaming, but there were no sounds coming out of her mouth. The tears that had formed were falling now. She whimpered when her orgasm stopped. She felt like she ran a mile or two.

“Oooh, f-f-fuck,” she stuttered.

“You came so good on my cock,” he took her lips and growled. “Do it again.”

“I can barely stay conscious,” she said truthfully.

He sat up on his knees and took hold of the back of her knees to spread her apart farther. His pace now was for his pleasure and she liked that. After a few minutes, she could tell he was close. His eyes were to where they met, but she knew he was going to come when he met her eyes. His olive eyes were filled with desire.

He lowered himself so his face was close to hers with his elbows on the bed and their eyes continued to stare into each other. His thrusts were sloppier and then he stilled himself inside of her and she felt it. She needed to get on birth control. She wanted to feel him coming inside of her. She needed that.

Her name left her lips several times.

His back was sweaty, but she caressed it. She kissed his shoulder, around his collar and then sucked on his neck. She wanted to leave her own mark. She was sure she had some as well and she planned to claim him as well.

“Stop or I’m going to get hard again,” he groaned as he pulled out of her.

She winced in pain but then chuckled. “Is that a bad thing?”

Wakatoshi got off the bed and she liked to see that his legs wobbled as he moved to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. She tried to close her legs and groaned in pain. She was going to definitely feel him in the morning. A naked Wakatoshi came back with a damp warm towel. He handed it to her, and she cleaned herself between her legs.

“I need to pee,” she pouted. “Carry me?”

He grinned and picked her up bridal style and took her to the bathroom. He placed her on her feet and then kissed her lovingly. The taste of her and sweat were in his mouth. He left her to let her do her thing.

Riko did what she had to do and then cleaned herself. Wakatoshi returned and told her they needed a shower.

“Round two,” she turned on the water and could already feel herself wet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with this chapter even though I used to write smut like it was nothing back in the day. But I had to re-write it a couple of times because I wasn't happy with it, but now I am.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos! It's always nice to see them.
> 
> This would a nice place to end this. I think I have an idea of what to do but we will see.
> 
> I do read the manga now and I've thought about including the time skip, but it depends how inspired I get.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING :)


	12. all i want to do is be more like me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: numb by linking park

Dinner with Satori went uneventful. If he did hear them, he didn’t say anything about it. Riko was grateful and super happy. She thought her relationship with Wakatoshi was never going to be the same, but it was in fact better than before. They were closer than before as well. She could see herself being with him for the rest of her life. That was a scary thought, but she wasn’t entirely afraid.

The next morning the three of them went out for breakfast. They did some shopping. Riko bought more art supplies. Tokyo always had the best stores for cheap, but good quality supplies. They got some lunch as well and they headed back to the hotel.

Wakatoshi suggested they rested before getting ready for the concert. Riko hoped that was code for doing it again, but apparently, he really meant rest. They took another nap and she knew she needed it because walking all over the city had been exhausting. He woke her up with kisses on her neck.

She grinned and turned to face him and caught his lips.

“I want you,” he said against her lips and pushed her on her back.

“All yours, Toshi,” she replied.

This time she didn’t hold back. She yelled his name. She rode him. She loved to have her hands on his chest and move at her own pace. But after a while, he took back control.

After that, they took a shower, together of course. They got ready for the concert. He was done first and she nearly dropped her jaw to the floor. She has seen him outside of his school uniform before, but she especially liked when he wore more tight fitted shirts especially because of his arms.

Those arms that hit a ball so hard it ricochets so high. Arms that not that long ago were wrapped tightly around her as he thrust in and out of her both gently and roughly.

“Hey,” he called out to her.

Riko closed her mouth and met his gaze. “Sorry. You are just gorgeous.”

She was never going to get used to _making_ Wakatoshi blush. 

“Thank you. I’m glad we did this.”

“Fuck?” she giggled.

“Spend time together,” he corrected and walked up to her. She was sitting on the vanity the room provided and she was doing her hair. “You’re it, Riko I love you.”

His words made her feel dizzy. She had yet to say those words back. This was the third time he had said those words to her. He told her as she rode him as well. Why did those words refuse to leave her lips even though she felt them?

Maybe it was too soon for her. She did think he hated her for a long time. She didn’t hold it against him though, she obviously needed therapy. Her daddy issues were deeper rooted than she thought. Because what if he changed his mind again? What if they had another misunderstanding? 

She cleared her throat. “I should finish getting ready.”

Riko spent the rest of her time getting ready trying to avoid thinking about her issues. She did her hair in simple waves. Her makeup was simple enough. Some foundation, blush and highlight. Her outfit was on the bed laid out. Faux leather skirt, with a pink top and a faux leather jacket. She got her platforms out as well. She had not use them since she got them for her birthday this year from her mom. After the put on her clothes, she checked in with Wakatoshi.

His heated gaze told her it was a good outfit. She twirled for him.

“Do you like having a rock chick for a girlfriend?” she giggled.

“I like having you as a girlfriend period,” he was sitting on a chair at the corner of the room. His large hand went to the back of her thigh and pulled her in to be between his spread legs. “You look amazing.”

It was Riko’s turn to blush. She loved his praises. His hand remained at the back of her thigh. It began to go higher, but then there were knocks at their door.

“You guys decent?” Satori called out from the other side of the door.

Riko stepped back from Wakatoshi and she laughed when he saw he looked a little upset at his best friend. He opened the door for Satori. He found Riko and wolf whistled.

“Oh yeah, you’re my kind of chick, Riko,” he smiled wolfishly. 

Wakatoshi wasted no time to be at her side and wrap his arm around her waist. “I know you mean that, but she’s mine.”

Satori laughed. “I have no death wish, Toshi. Just admiring the beautiful Riko. Now, we have a concert to get to and I plan to buy merch, so let’s get going.”

**

They got to the venue just in time for the opening band to start. Satori wanted merch and truthfully, so did Riko. Her last concert was when she was eleven. So, it had been seven years. She got a shirt from Linkin Park. Wakatoshi had suggested to bring a clear bag for them, so they could put things in. They put their shirts in there.

They found a spot that let them have a good view of the stage, but they weren’t cramped…yet. She had a clear memory of her dad putting her on his shoulders so she could rock out to Metallica. An eleven-year-old Riko was doing the devil’s horns and singing to ‘Fuel’ at the top of her lungs.

The opening bad was one she recognized. It was called ‘Of Mice & Men’. She had a few of their songs downloaded. Austin, the screamer, was so energetic. She sang along to a few of their songs.

There was another opening act. Another band she knew called Breaking Benjamin. She stood in front of Wakatoshi and he protected her from sometimes herself because she got too much into the song and she would lose her footing from jumping and he would catch her.

Then after them it was finally time for Linkin Park.

Riko was sure she would lose her voice when they started to play. They started with the song ‘Lost in the Echo’.

Wakatoshi loved to see Riko in her element. He suspected there was more to her calm demeanor. When he got to know her, it did surprise him in her type of music that she listened to. But as he got to know her, he liked to know that there was depth to her.

He protected her with the mosh pit started near them. But it seemed she didn’t need it because she tapped his arm that he had around her. She lifted her head up and had a sparkle in her eyes that reminded him of when she was drawing. She was telling him it was okay. He released her and she went into the pit.

He could only watch and made sure nothing bad happened. Satori joined her. This was happiness. Not just when he was playing or winning. Here with Riko and then back at the hotel when he would hold her. He only ever found that kind of peace when he was playing. It was good to know he could also find it outside of it.

Linkin Park started to play a song he recognized because Riko often sang it below her breath. She’d scribble the lyrics at the corner of her notes. It was called ‘Numb’. The crowd also sang at the top of their lungs. Riko had returned to him for this song. She used him as a pillar so she wouldn’t tumble over.

He could feel her anguish. She had to confront her father. He knew his relationship with his father wasn’t perfect, but it hurt him to see Riko in pain. He was also very proud of her. She was doing a difficult thing. He understood it wasn’t easy to go against your parents. Especially to her since she values and cares for her family so much. He wished he could be there for her when she spoke to him.

He knew she could do it as well. She was a strong woman. He could tell by the way she carried herself. The rumors and bullying in school never stopped her from being friendly. She didn’t make an effort to make friends, but she wasn’t mean either. He was always happy he got to do projects with her. He knew she was a reliable person and wasn’t afraid to make him do the work. 

Riko released everything with each song. Her heart was filled with joy being here with her boyfriend and her friend. She was sure her life was headed one way and one way only. It was good to see good things did happen. Singing at the top of her lungs with Chester and Mike was cathartic. Her head was getting clearer. She knew exactly what she planned to tell her dad.

She didn’t know how she would ever thank Wakatoshi and Satori for doing this for her. They might not know it, but they’ve changed her life.

The last song played was ‘Bleed It Out’.

“Hands up!” Mike encouraged. And the crowd did as he said. “That’s beautiful!”

Wakatoshi was behind her and he was clapping as well.

Tonight, was going to be engraved in her memory forever.

**

Early in the morning, Wakatoshi woke her up. The first part of her Tama Art exams was starting in three hours. He ordered breakfast for them. Today was the written exam and she was informed it would take two to three hours. She brought some books to brush up on some basics.

Satori was going back home by train, but he stopped by to say goodbye and he told her to do her best. They hugged tightly and she thanked him for the concert ticket. How she planned to pay him back at least a little bit. He told her to think of it as a Christmas and birthday present.

“Riko, we’ve also booked this room until tomorrow,” Wakatoshi told her. “I went ahead and cancelled your reservation at the other place.”

She turned to her boyfriend with wide eyes. “What?”

“We were able to get the money back too,” Satori took out an envelope and held it out to her.

“What? No! Guys, please…keep the money. You guys are doing too much,” she pushed Satori’s hand with the envelope back towards him. “Seriously, keep it.”

“All right, if you insist,” Satori chuckled. “I’m off then! See you back in school, Riko!” He hugged her one more time and then left.

The room was quiet after he left. She sighed loudly and smiled to herself. She had friends. Reliable friends. She wouldn’t be abandoned anymore. She turned back to her boyfriend.

“Toshi,” she wrapped her arms around his torso. “Thank you.”

He chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around her. “You deserve this and so much more.” He kissed the top of her head.

She closed her eyes for a moment and listened to his heart. It was beating unusually fast.

“Why is your heart beating so fast?” she mumbled against his chest.

“Because you’re in my arms,” he replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She turned her head up with a wide grin. “I…I’m…happy to hear that.”

That was the perfect chance to say it! Why couldn’t she push the words out? She felt them. Felt them with every fiber of her being. Her smile had dropped, and she could see that he sensed her hesitation, but he didn’t look upset at all. Instead he smiled knowingly.

“You should go get ready,” he kissed her forehead. “I’ll clean up a bit.”

She grinned again. “You’re the best, Toshi.” She went to her tipie toes and kissed him. He didn’t hesitate to reciprocate. Her hands went to his biceps and she loved how big they were. Her hands went up to his neck and she hoped she showed her feelings in her kiss. She might not be able to say it, but she could show it.

By the end of it, they were out of breath. He smiled letting her know he knew. He understood what she was trying to say.

**

The first part of the exam was the easy stuff. It was just assessments basically to show what she knew in math, science and literature. She felt confident she got that down. She had to do a short essay at the end. She used all the time she had to make sure it was good.

When she was done, Wakatoshi was waiting for her so they could go eat. He asked her how it went, and she happily told him that part was easy. Tomorrow she would have to show her portfolio. And she would have 3 hours to showcase her work. She already knew what she wanted to do.

“I think I’ve made the decision on which team I want to join,” Wakatoshi said as they ate ramen.

Her eyes widened in surprise but asked which team.

“The Adler’s,” he told her. “They have a great track record and always strong players.”

“And they’re based in Tokyo,” she grinned. “So, we would be able to be together. If…I get in,” she chuckled.

“You’re going to get it,” he reached for her hand, laces their fingers together and squeezes it. “You’re talented and you will get in. Say it.”

“Say what?”

“What I just said.”

Riko bit her lip but then nodded. She straightened her back. “I am talented, and I will get in.”

His eyes softened. “Good.”

When they went back to the hotel, they took off their clothes. He went down on her and he took his time. He kissed, licked and sucked every crevice. He took her to the edge several times but stopped. He edged her until she was crying for release. He gave it to her, and she felt her world turn white for a moment.

**

Saturday was the day for the ‘interview’ part of the exams. Wakatoshi walked with her and kissed her before she left. He gave her encouraging words. She loved to hear them. She knew he only spoke his truth. It was what he believed, and he believed in her.

She was given three hours to draw something. While her work and the others were looked over.

There was one clear picture in her head, and she went to work. She was able to bring her headphones, so music helped as she drew.

She went into a deep headspace. The world melted away as continued to draw. Her fingers were almost black by the time she was done.

When the time was up, she blinked and took in a deep breath. She washed her hands and waited for the personal interview. She made a friend as examiners waited to be called on.

Her name was Mikasa and she was going for graphic design as well. She went to a school in Tokyo and was very talkative. Riko appreciated the distraction. Her heart was at her throat, and she felt like she was going to pass out. Mikasa made it seem so easy. She had confidence.

Riko was called first before Mikasa since they were going by last names. Mikasa asked for her phone number and Riko gave it to her.

The interview started with why she wanted to attend Tama Art. She explained as best she could. Then they moved on to her sketches. They saw that most were recent. They asked her why there was a big gap in her work.

She told them she recently made a decision to live for herself and she wanted no regrets in life.

They moved on to her drawing she had three hours to do. It was someone’s arms reaching for a volleyball before it touches the floor. She concentrated on shadows and details of the arms. 

“Simple, yet impactful,” someone commented. “Do you play volleyball?”

“No. My boyfriend and brother play. I actually know a lot of volleyball players.”

“Ah, yes, you go to Shiratorizawa,” an older woman smiled. “That’s a good school. And you are top of your class.”

“I do love learning,” Riko was honest about that. “And I want to grow here in this school and learn here.”

“Well, I think we have what we need,” the older woman told her. “We will be sending results in late January. Thank you for coming.”

Riko stood up and bowed. “Thank you for your time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Concert Outfit](https://shoplook.io/outfit-preview/1996573)
> 
> So this little story is coming to an end soon. I thought about extending it, but I don't want to drag it out. But I am so appreciative of all the support. I know OC's are not people's thing right now. I do read y/n but I just can't bring myself to write it.


	13. you make me feel like i am home again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: Lovesong by The Cure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *smut in this chapter.

Wakatoshi told Riko he planned a romantic date for them. She was relieved the entrance exam was over. She was told she would hear back in a month or so. Now all she thought about was telling her dad that she planned to follow her own path. She shivered at the thought of seeing her dad’s face as she told him, but there was no going back.

Her head was so consumed about her dad that she barely recalled where she was. She heard her name and she looked up at Wakatoshi. His green eyes held concern for her. They were at the nice restaurant they were at.

“Thinking about your dad?” he guessed.

She nodded her head slowly. “I’m sorry. I’m a mess. I’m glad the entrance exam went rather well…I’m just…unsure of my future.”

“About us?”

She shook her head and smiled. “That’s definitely not something I’m unsure about,” she reaches across the table and grabs his hand. “You and I are good. I just want things to go smoothly with my dad…and grandma.”

“If they do not support you, you have people who do here,” he squeezed her hand reassuringly. His thumb caressed her skin.

“Thank you for everything, Toshi,” she sighed. She straightened her back and smiled wider. “I shouldn’t dampen our night. I mean, I’m not gonna see you until after New Year’s probably, so let’s just forget everything else.”

He smiled warmly and gave her a nod. “Yes.”

“Can we go to karaoke?” she beamed. “I want to hear you sing again. You’ll just have to suffer through my off key.”

He chuckled. “If that’s what you want.”

Dinner was delicious. She was filled to the brim, but she did want to go to karaoke. They found a place nearby that had private rooms.

Once inside they sang several songs. Riko found some of the anime intros she liked to listen to. She was definitely off key, but Wakatoshi didn’t seem to mind. 

“Oh, sing this one for me, please, Toshi,” she pointed to the book that they had in the room.

“As you wish,” he nodded.

“Wait…you know it?” she tilted her head at the sound of confidence in his voice.

He smirked. “Yes.”

She grinned. She inputted the numbers and then moments later the song started to play.

_Birds flying high  
You know how I feel  
Sun in the sky  
You know how I feel  
Breeze driftin' on by  
You know how I feel  
It's a new dawn  
It's a new day  
It's a new life  
For me  
And I'm feeling good  
I'm feeling good_

Riko bit her lower lip. Wakatoshi’s deep voice was perfect for this song. It was one of her favorites from Michael Buble. Wakatoshi’s English was good. He had improved since they studied together for the past month. She loved how into it he was. She was sure he could have a music career if he wanted to. Then even more girls would be after him. She was happy he preferred volleyball.

As the song continued, she got shivers when strong notes came on and he hit them perfectly.

By the end, she was ready to pounce her boyfriend. The heat in his gaze told her he was thinking the same thing. They barely made it to the hotel room. They had the elevator to themselves and she was emboldened and pushed him against the elevator and climbed him. He held her up with his arms easily. Her mouth was attached to his and then moved down to his neck.

She saw the marks she left on him and she was glad they would be visible. She had some of her own that she would have to hide from her family, but she was happy to have them.

His large hands squeezed her ass when she made him groan. They got to their floor and he placed her down. They smiled at each other as an elderly couple greeted them as they got off. They looked so innocent, but their thoughts were entirely impure.

They rushed to their room and as soon as they were inside, they began to undress. Riko had a flight early in the morning, so tonight was probably the last time they would be together for a few days. It was definitely the last time they would be alone like this until probably they moved to Tokyo.

Riko showed her passion and yearning for him through touching and kissing. She pushed him on the bed with only his briefs. She stood at the foot of the bed and admired the view. The view of his body would never be enough for her. But what she adored the most were his eyes. So expressive. They always told her what she needed to know.

They never hid anything from her.

It seemed so far away they she thought she would never see that intensity in his eyes again. That warmth that went to her bones. Her soul. She was sure she had lost the love of her life. It had been painful, but she was glad that everything had cleared up.

Otherwise, she wouldn’t be living this moment. She crawled over him until she was face to face with him. His support in her dream and career told her that he truly cared for her. He was right about her dad. Even if her dad didn’t support him, she would come back to him. That would be enough for her.

He is enough for her.

He removed her bra and pushed down her panties. He switched positions and now she was underneath him. 

“I love you, too,” the words slipped easily out of her mouth. When just this morning she couldn’t get them out, they left like air.

He stiffened above her and she saw the moment her words registered in his head because his eyes softened. He brought down his lips on her and kissed her thoroughly. He was saying it back with his kiss. Riko had never felt so entirely his. In that moment, she belonged body and soul to him. There would be no one else.

“I love you, Riko,” he said the words as he pulled back.

He got a condom, rolled it on then lined himself up at her entrance and pushed forward. Slowly. He watched as he slowly gave her every inch of him. It hurt her to adjust to him, but it was the best pain she could feel. It always subsided and soon the pleasure followed him. He reached as deep as he could. He groaned her name and it was a sweet sound for her. 

His arms lowered to either side of her head. It brought his lips centimeters from hers, but not quite touching, but she felt his pants and groans against her lips. Their eyes locked and they watched the pleasure in each other’s eyes.

His hips moved quicker. Wanting to hear her moan. She did. Riko’s hands went to his back and she loved to feel his muscles move as he thrust in and out of her. She whimpered his name.

“Toshi,” she panted.

He kept himself up with one arm as the other reached for the back of her knee. He raised her leg higher over his hip and he got a deeper angle.

“TOSHI!” she screamed loving the new spot he was hitting. “I love you!”

She threw her head back and realized they were sweating now. His mouth attached to her neck and he bit her skin wanting to mark her even more. How was he supposed to not see her for so many days? 

“You feel so good,” he praised panting. He pressed his forehead on her shoulder and continued the vicious pace. He released her leg but told her to keep it there. His hand traveled up the side of her body. Touching every curve and dip. He found her breast and he squeezed it.

She moaned his name breathlessly. “Don’t stop! Don’t stop.” She closed her eyes as she felt the pressure start to build up. In moments it erupted, and she came. Her walls tightened around him and he continued to move, but slower.

A few thrusts and he was right behind her.

“Fuck…Riko!” he stiffened over her. He pumped a few times as the rest of the tremors went away.

Riko smiled. Her hands went to his hair and she ran her fingers through it as he remained on top of her. He was still panting and she enjoyed it for a moment. He pulled back a bit and looked down at her. He smiled. 

“You’re so damn beautiful,” he cupped her cheek. “Makes me want to go with you to the States.”

She chuckled. “One day. You can meet my dad and my little brother and sister. I want them to know you.”

He nodded his head. They cleaned up, took a bath together and then laid together. Wakatoshi was behind her and he held her until there was no space between them. Her back against his chest. He kissed the back of her head.

“Say the words again,” he whispered into the darkness of the night.

Riko grinned knowing what he wanted to hear. She closed her eyes and felt them in her heart. “I love you, Toshi.”

**

Riko didn’t want the morning to come. She had not known peace like when she was in Wakatoshi’s arms. She felt like she could take on the entire world with him by her side. She could do anything. He woke up first and he got them breakfast. They ate quickly but made time to kiss and hold each other.

Her heart was filled with dread and happiness. It was an odd sensation. They packed and got everything ready to go. Wakatoshi checked out through the TV and then they headed to the lobby. In the elevator she placed her head on his arm. She inhaled his scent and memorized it. It was pine and woodsy. She smiled and he looked down at her with a soft face.

They got into a shuttle that would take them to the airport. She had printed out her flight information and she had her passport ready to go. 

Wakatoshi had taken her hand and he didn’t release it unless he absolutely had to.

“Are you going to miss me?” she teased as shuttle neared the airport.

“More than anything,” he kissed her temple and she closed her eyes and relished in the feeling. “Please text and call me. Doesn’t matter the time.”

“Thank you for everything, Toshi. You’ve made my life so much better.”

“You’ve done the same for me.”

She chuckled. “Little nobody changed the life of the greatest volleyball player?”

“You’ve shown me humility,” he whispered. “That there’s more than one way of being a great player… a good person. Thank you.”

Riko blushed at his compliment. She didn’t feel like she made that much of a difference, but it was nice to hear his side. She couldn’t wait to tell her dad about him. How he made her feel. How much he believed in her.

He helped through the process. Even though she had done it many times. Most of the time she left to the States on her own. This was the first time someone was going to be with her to see her go in a long time. Her mom used to come when she was younger, but three years ago she stopped. 

He waited with her until it was time for her to go to her gate. He placed his hands on her cheeks and he pulled her in for a deadly kiss. It gave her a tingle that reached her toes. Her hands went to his shoulders to steady herself.

Riko pulled back when she desperately needed to breathe, and she hated she had to breathe. He rested his forehead against hers.

“I’ll see you in a few days,” she promised. “I’ll tell my dad about Tama…about us…so expect to meet him…maybe. I love you.”

He smiled at her words. “I love you too.”

There was a call that her plane started boarding. She tore herself from him. He took her hand as she pulled back. He held on until their fingers grazed each other. She always thought it was stupid when in dramas they did what they were doing, but now she understood why.

Sure she would see him in a few days, but she liked spending time with him. 

**

Wakatoshi stayed in his spot until he was unable to see her. He didn’t think it was possible to miss someone this much in such a short amount of time. It hurt to let her go. He didn’t want to break the bubble they had created. She had told him she loved him. He knew it wasn’t easy for her. He had said it, but he didn’t plan on it. Yet when he had said it, he didn’t regret it. Because it was true.

He liked singing for her. The way she looked at him made him feel so special. Not in the way others do just because he’s a left-handed player, but as a man.

His way back home was too long. 

He knew she wouldn’t be able to text for twelve hours. Yet once he got home, he decided to text her he had arrived safely. He would have to wait a few more hours for her reply.

But she didn’t. He figured she was busy with her family. Americans did take Christmas seriously. His family didn’t as much, but he understood why she didn’t send anything.

But after seventy-two hours of not hearing from her, he decided to call her, but the number had been disconnected. Maybe she lost her phone. Or got a new one for Christmas, he rationalized.

He was thankful for Satori to distract him. He went over to his place to watch movies with the rest of the team. He was asked about Riko and he was honest with them. They started to ask questions he didn’t have answers for.

“What if something happened to her?” Goshiki gasped.

Wakatoshi froze in place. He had not thought about that.

“I’m sure his family would have told you,” Satori placed his hand on Wakatoshi’s shoulder. “Have you gone to her place to see if they know anything?”

“She’s only been gone four days. She said she’s coming back after New Year’s,” Wakatoshi replied. “I’ll…wait until then.”

He hoped that she was fine. He was sure she was fine. He listened to the music she listened to, to be closer to her. Doubt began to form when even her social media was quiet. She often posted on twitter, but she had not since the night of the concert. What if something did happen? Paranoia wasn’t something he was used to feeling. 

He ended up getting Shoyo’s number from Goshiki, but he didn’t have the strength to ask him about his sister. Two more days and she should come back. He could wait.

New Year’s came and went.

Nationals was coming up and he wasn’t going to go for the first time in years. He decided to go to her house to make sure she got home safely.

It was a Thursday. He was sure Shoyo was packed for Nationals.

Riko’s house lights were on. He brought chocolates with him to welcome her back. He was nervous. He had a lot of questions for her. He hoped they were still good.

He knocked on the door and for a long time no one answered. He tried again and on the second knock Shoyo opened the door. He jumped in surprise.

“Sorry to disturb…but…I’m looking for Riko,” he was glad it was so cold he had to use a scarf to cover half his face.

Shoyo got over his shock of seeing him and then turned his eyes to the side. “Right, you probably don’t know.”

Wakatoshi’s heart went to his throat. “Know what?” A million thoughts raced through his head. Did she get in a car accident? Had she fallen ill?

“Riko isn’t coming back. She moved to the States permanently. Even though she promised she would be there at Nationals!”

The ace hardly heard the younger one. Riko wasn’t coming back? The world spun, but he was sure he was frozen in place at the same time.

“I—are—do you have a way to reach her? Are you sure that's what happened?”

Shoyo’s shoulders dropped. “Yes, I'm sure. I’ve tried to reach her, but she won’t take my call. I don’t think she even has a phone because I’ve been calling the house phone of her dad. Mom has talked to her, but Riko said she made up her mind and isn’t coming back..”

“She chose to stay over there?” Wakatoshi’s heart was being squeezed. He was sure something was reaching inside of his chest and clutching it. What did he do wrong? Had he pushed her too far by saying 'I love you'? Or maybe she changed her mind and didn't love him. That thought hurt the most.

“She…really didn’t tell you?” Shoyo was confused.

“I-I should go,” he took a step back. He dropped the chocolates and drove back home. Heartbroken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First thank you all for the recent Kudos! I do appreciate them. Also this story has over 1,000 hits and that amazes me!
> 
> I am torn with this story. I'm seriously thinking of including the time skip from the Manga--which, I now read. I'm not caught up, but I know what happens thanks to Tik Tok. I wanted to add some angst now since this was supposed to be an angsty story.
> 
> But let me know what you think or preferred. The time skip would include spoilers, but I also plan to follow my own path as well. It would be a sequel to Haunted though since it'd make sense to do it.
> 
> Again thank you for taking the time to read :)


	14. cause you feel like home (epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: when we were young by adele

Wakatoshi had to be dreaming. Or at least it had to be a nightmare. 

It didn’t matter that it had been almost 3 years since he last saw her. He would be able to recognize her anywhere.

Kageyama was showing him his phone. Wakatoshi understood his focus was supposed to be on Hinata and Oikawa, but he saw her, and his world tilted. Behind those two was Riko in a bikini. It had taken him a long time build a wall around his heart since she left him. Deserted him. Yet, in a single moment he realized he was still deeply in love with her.

A huge part of him was relieved to see she was healthy. That was with her brother. He knew how much family meant to her. Though he didn’t understand why she never returned to Japan, he wished she was doing well. It seemed she was.

It hurt to see it, but he asked Kageyama to send him the picture. If the young setter knew the real reason, he didn’t give anything away.

Wakatoshi returned to his apartment in Tokyo after practice. He was able to avoid looking at his phone, but once after he showered, he pulled out his phone. He brought up the picture and zoomed in. It was a side body picture, but he recognizes that body anywhere, anytime. Her hair was shorter. A lot shorter. She had cut it.

In the picture she was in the middle of tucking her hair behind her ear. She was smiling and her eyes were focused on someone.

Dread filled him as he thought she was probably looking at someone else like that. Did she have someone new?

He cursed and turned off his phone. Years of work went down the drain with a single picture. It was clear his feelings were still there. He didn’t want them. He wanted to move on. He needed to move on. He vowed to never let anyone else in. For this very reason. For the burning in his chest that had not stopped since he saw the image. Now that he was alone, he could let it out. Tears formed in his eyes and fell freely. He let them fall because it was the only way to get rid of the pain.

Riko was supposed to be the one. She was the one. She ruined him for everyone else. She haunted him.

**

Six years since Riko stepped foot in Japan.

Of course, the first restaurant she would eat at in Tokyo, she would run into the boy—the man she hurt. 

Over 9 million people in the city and yet fate seemed to bring them together. Like two magnets. Inevitable.

She stood outside of the restaurant and as she was coming in, he gets out of a cab. Six years and she would be able to recognize him anywhere, anytime. He was stepped out of the cab with a beautiful woman, elegant. The years were kind to Wakatoshi. It hurt to even think his name. 

Riko felt a sharp pain in her heart. Even though she understood she was the one who ended it, well, not really, but she had hoped he would still be single, but that was selfish of her. But those thoughts are what gave her hope.

She had every chance to move on. She had met some guys who would be perfect for her, according to her family, but she refused. Her family never subtly told her she should find someone, but they had a deal and she was keeping the end of hers up until then she planned to belong to only one person.

Because there was only one person for her, and she broke his heart. He haunted her.

Yet, Wakatoshi simply walked past her. As if she was a ghost. Her body didn’t move. Shock rocked her body. Disbelief that he didn’t see her. Didn’t sense her. He had always seen her. Flashes of his olive eyes looking into hers. Back all of those years ago when they woke up in the hotel together for a few days. Those few days she didn’t know where going to be her last with him. She would have treasured it more. She would have told him she loved him way more often.

“Riko,” her dad’s voice brought her back to the present. His eyebrows wrinkled together. “Are you okay, sweetie?”

She released a shaky breath and nodded her head. “Y-yes. Let’s go inside.”

“Yes, the client is already inside,” he grinned. “This could be big for us. This player is very popular, and he is being scouted for the Olympic Japanese team.”

Riko licked her lips. “Oh, what sport again?”

“Volleyball.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the last chapter of this part. 
> 
> Sequel is already up [Break My Heart Again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25604497/chapters/62146465). I am working almost full time again, so my laziness to write has come back. But I'll do my best to push through.


End file.
